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Ako kome treba weps prodajem na marketu po najnižoj cijeni.
Gleda muž TV i dere se:
Neeee budaloooo, šta radišššš!!!!!
Dolazi žena i pita ga:
-Šta se dereš dragi, šta je bilo?
Ma evo gledam naše vjenčanje..
Spava Mujo i sanja Pamelu Anderson kako sa njim leži na plaži. Mujo nju pita:
- "Bil' mi dala?"
Pamela:
- "Može, ali prvo moraš da pojedeš govno!"
Mujo pristane i pojede!
I Pamela se, kao što je i obećala, skine i legne. Mujo taman da ju počne, kad Fata ga probudi da ide na posao. Mujo ljut ko pas opali Fati šamar i kaže:
- "Mater ti *ebem, što me nisi probudla kad sam govna jeo?
Napravili Amerikanci robota za hvatanje lopova.
-Jednog dana oni odvedu robota u izreal i za 10 min uhvatio 100 lopova.
- Odvedu ga oni u Španjolsku i za 20 min uhvatio 200 lopova.
- Odvedu ga oni u Srbiju i za 10 min ukrali robota!
Zašto Slovenci na satu geografije nemaju geog.kartu?
- Pa sve vide kroz prozor.
Kćer kaze tati:
Tata ja sam lezbejka.
Tata: dobro kćeri.
Kaze druga kćer:
tata ja sam lezbejka.
A tata: Pa ima li neko da voli kurac u ovoj porodici?!
Kaze sin: Tata volim ja
Zove Dalmatinac mater na telefon:
-''''Alo majko, iman dvi visti, jednu lošu, a drugu dobru!''''
-''''A koja je dobra?'''' pita ga ona
-'''' Ostavia san drogu!''''
-''''Bravo sinko,tako triba, a sad mi reci koja je loša?''''
-'''' A bogati, ne znan di!'''' ...
Ulazi seljak u prepun gradski autobus kad jedna gospodja nagazi ga stiklom i poce se izvinjavati:
-Oprostite, molim vas nije bilo namjerno!
-Ma nemote se brinuti gospodjo, mi seljaci navikli smo da nas gazi stoka!
Sudac pita okrivljenog koga su uhvatili u kradji:
-Jeste li ozenjeni?
-Nisam i nikada necu biti!
Sudac ce na to:
-Ne mogu vjerovati, tako pametan, a krade!
Došao mujo u ciganke i ona mu kaže da će unesrećiti mnogo ljudi. Tako on tužan šeta uz rijeku kad vidi dijete se utapa, pomisli pa evo bar ovog dječaka mogu spasit. i spasi on dječaka, vrati ga majci, a ona će muji: hvala vam što ste spasili mog Adolfa!!
Govori Hitler Židovima da bacaju kocku.
- Ako dobijete od 1 do 5, ubit ću vas.
Jedan od Židova se javi:
...
- A što ako dobijemo 6?
- Onda bacate ponovno! - odgovori Hitler
Izvede Hitler 4 Židova iz logora i kaže im: Sad ćete trčati oko logora, tko dođe prvi i zadnji streljamo ih. Židovi se poradovali a Hitler nastavi: Ali trčat ćete po 2 u paru.
Zašto se hitler ubio? vidio je račun za plin!
To je sve od mene pozdrav do sljedećeg puta.
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
