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- Mamo, mamo tata je uzo.
- sta je uzo?
- uzo da se kupa !
Sedi devojka u busu, sluša muziku, ulazi matorac i onda standardna fora – prvo je cima 5 minuta za rukav, pa:
- “Ajd ustani da ja sednem, mlađa si…”
- “Aj’ pali, budalo matora.”
Sledi uobičajeno pičkaranje:
- “Jebem ti ja mamu i oca da ti jebem…”
Devojka opušteno:
- “Kad možeš da jebeš, možeš i da stojiš.”
Sretnu se Mujo i Haso i Pita Haso Muju:
-Kakva ti je to šljiva ispod oka?
-Ma šuti, udarila me žena.
-A zašto?
-Obratio sam joj se sa ti.
-I za to te tuče?!
-Da, privuče se ona uz mene i kaže "dragi, nismo odavno imali sex" ja reko "ti nisi odavno imala sex".
Brzo dodje Perica trcajuci do mame.
-Mama,mama tata se ispovracao po stolu!
-Pa sta onda?
-Sestra uzima najvece komade!
Išli Mujo i Haso biciklama.Kaže Haso:
- Mujo,tanrdče ti blatobran!
• Ne čujem te bolan!
- Tandrče ti blatobran!!!
• Ama,Haso,jarane,ne čujem te,tandrče mi blatobran!!
Dosao cigo kod doktora i zali se na uho.
Doktor - "Kakvi su ti simptomi?"
Cigo - "Simptomi su mi odlicni. Najvise mi se svidja Bart!"
Muva Crnogorac ribu:
Viđu,mala, poznajemo li se nas dvoje!?
Ona odgovara:
Ne, prvi put te vidim u životu!
Veli Crnogorac:
A đe ćeš me znat, kad sam po cio dan u Mercedes!!!
Mujo i Haso ziveli u Doboju, pa Mujo jednom ode u Nemacku, a Haso mu posle nekog vremena pise pismo:
1.Fata je kurva.
2.Ceo Doboj je jeb'o.
3.I ja sam.
4.Sta kazes na stavku broj 3?
Mujo odgovara:
1.Znam.
2.Nije mi zao nasao sam drugu.
3.Fata ima triper.
4.Sta kazes na stavku broj 3?
Dogovorili se Mujo i Haso da se prosvercuju preko granice, pa se preruse u kravu, Mujo je glava i prednje noge, a Haso zadnje noge. Medjutim carinici ih provale pa odluce da se malo nasale, kaze jedan:
-Krava je li? Ajde da proverimo, donesite joj kofu vofe, ona mora sve to da popije.
Oni donesu, Mujo popi sve, a Haso sapuce: ,,Izdrzi Mujo, izdrzi!".
-Donesite kravi malo sena ona mora sve da pojede!
Donesu, Mujo pojede sve, a Haso sapuce ,,Izdrzi Mujo, izdrzi"
-Dobro, a sad dovedite bika!
A Mujo ce:
-Izdrzi Haso izdrzi!
Nosi Mujo Hasu na ledjima, pod vodom. Odjednom kaze Mujo:
-Cekaj Haso, usla mi neka ribica u dupe.
-Nije ribica, to se ja pricvrstio.
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PRIMERA (13 years ago)
Next article:
E-sim Tutorial (13 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
