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2. Seamos claros. (Un albino).
3. No veo la hora de irme. (Un ciego).
4. Vamos al grano. (Un dermatólogo).
5. Por ti perdí la cabeza. (El fósforo).
6. Me encanta ir a la escuela. (Un piojo).
7. La leche engorda. (Una embarazada).
8. Todos tenemos derechos. (Los zurdos).
9. Vamos por partes. (Jack el destripador).
10. Que nadie me pase por alto. (Nelson Ned).
11. Aquí el que no corre, vuela. (Un terrorista).
12. Mi vida está llena de aspiraciones. (Un asmático).
13. Tengo un pasado muy negro. (Michael Jackson).
14. Me las pagarás. (Fondo Monetario Internacional).
15. ¡No mas derramamiento de Sangre! (Un Tampax).
16. ¡El coche nunca reemplazara al caballo! (La Yegua)
17. Me dijeron que jugara pegado a la línea blanca. (Maradona).
18. Me dejaste un sabor amargo en la boca. (Mónica Lewinski)
19. La sabiduría me persigue...pero yo soy mas rápido. (Un gallego)
20. El día que nosotros gobernemos, todos temblaran (Un epiléptico)
21. Me molesta la gente que no da la cara. (Anónimo)
22. No a la donación de Órganos. (Yamaha)
23. Mi esposa tiene un buen físico. (Albert Einstein)
24. Yo empece comiéndome las uñas. (La Venus de Milo)
25. Nunca pude estudiar Derecho. (El Jorobado de Notre Dame)
26. A mI lo que me revienta son los camiones. (Un sapo)
27. Ser ciego no es nada, peor seria ser negro. (Stevie Wonder)
28. Siempre quise ser el primero. (Juan Pablo II)
29. ¡Basta ya de realidades... queremos promesas! (Los pobres)
30. Tengo todos mis hijos de apellido distinto (Carlos Distinto)
31. Hemos batido a la competencia. (Moulinex)
32. No a los golpes, sI a los porrazos. (Bob Marley)
33. Tengo un corazón de piedra. (Una estatua)
34. Tengo nervios de acero. (Robocop)
35. La mano viene movida. (Parkinson)
36. Mi padre es un viejo verde. (El Increíble Hulk)
37. ¡Mamá, lo se todo! (El Pequeño Larousse Ilustrado)
38. Nuestra madre es una loba. (Rómulo y Remo)
39. No al paro. (Un cardiaco)
40. Tengo un nudo en la garganta. (Un ahorcado)
41. Creo en la reencarnación. (Una uña)
42. X. (Un analfabeto)
43. Mi novio es una bestia. (La Bella)
44. Mi mamá es una rata. (Mickey)
45. Estoy hecha una vaca. (Un toro gay)
46. Estoy hecho pedazos. (Frankestein)
47. En casa nos llevamos a las patadas. (Kung Fu)
48. Me gusta la humanidad. (Un caníbal)
49. Al fin solos. (El Llanero Solitario)
50. El que llegue primero es un feto. (Los espermatozoides)
52. ¡Basta de humor negro! (Ku Klux Klan)
53. Mi novia es una perra. (Pluto)
54. No veo un pito. (Una monja)
55. Eres la única mujer de mi vida. (Adán)
56. Estoy encinta. (Scotch)
57. ¡Se me estropeo el despertador! (La Bella Durmiente)
58. Es mejor dar que recibir. (Un boxeador)
59. Mi madre es una arrastrada. (Una culebra)
60. Levantare a los caídos y oprimiré a los grandes. (El sostén)
Espero les haya gustado :p
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
