Esim - Prestupni vicevi
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Nabacani vicevi bez ikakvog reda,zakona i smisla,,za poslednji dan februara .Cilj je da vam zaigraju brci (ne vazi za zenske )

Uhvatio Mujo medveda u lovu kad naiđe Haso, te pita ga:
- "Kako si ga uhvatio bolan?"
- "Lako, pucao sam sto puta!"
- "I koliko si ga puta pogodio?"
- "Ni jednom, umro je od smeha!" xD

Leži Crnogorac u travi i viče na ženu:
- Ženturačooo, a Bog te ubio, daj mi serum za zmije!
- Ju! Da te nije ugrizla slučajno?
- Ma nije, ali se pomera! xD

Došao Nemac u Beograd u goste kod prijatelja, ali nije znao gde je ulica u kojoj oni žive. Iako je dosta dobro znao srpski, lutao je po Beogradu, pa odlučio da pita prolaznika:
Dobar dan - kaže Nemac - da li je ovo Knez Mihailova?
Prolaznik odgovori:
Mhm.
Pođe Nemac dalje, ne veruje onome, pa traži drugog prolaznika. Naiđe na drugog, pa ga upita:
... Da li je ovo Knez Mihailova?
Ovaj će na to:
Aha.
Pošto nije bio zadovoljan ni ovim odgovorom, reši Nemac da pita policajca:
Da li je ovo Knez Mihailova?
Policajac odgovori:
Da.
Nemcu to bilo zanimljivo, pa opet pita policajca:
E, sad mi objasnite: kako to da se jedna nemačka reč "ja" može prevesti na srpski kao "mhm", "aha" i "da"?
Policajac objasni:
"Mhm" će vam reći čovek koji je završio samo osnovnu školu; "aha" onaj koji je završio i srednju, a "da" onaj koji je završio fakultet.
Onda ste vi završili fakultet? - pita Nemac.
Mhm - odgovori policajac.

Otišao Tadic kod poslovnog partnera grka, a ovaj živi u super luksuzu.
Tadic:
- "Kako si uspio sve ovo steći?"
grk:
... - "Vidiš onaj most tamo?"
Tadic:- "Vidim."
grk:
- "Taj most je trebao biti širok 55m, a napravio sam ga širokog 50m i od para za tih 5m je sve ovo."
grk sljedeće godine dođe kod našeg političara, a ovaj u triput većem luksuzu od njega.
grk:
- "Kako si uspio za samo godinu dana steći sve ovo?"
Tadic:
- "Vidiš onaj most tamo?"
grk:
- "Ne vidim."
Tadic:
- "Eeeeee."


Iznervirani covek otvara vrata ispred kojih stoje momak i devojka i pocinje da vice na momka:
-Prvo, kazao sam ti da mi cerku vratis kuci do ponoci a sada je 3 sata ujutru!
-Drugo, rekao sam ti da kada izvodis moju cerku ne smes da pijes a ti si potpuno pijan!
-Trece, ta sto si je doveo uopste nije moja cerka!!! xD




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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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