Article
That's right. For you unemployed, down onyour luck, bored with your current employment and yes you...the losers of life.
THERE is somewhere for you to work and still feel miserable and useless.
COME WORK FOR IRON YOU HAPPY?
WHAT??? HEY YOU!!!!
YES YOU!!!!
DON'T CLOSE THIS ARTICLE YET. IT MIGHT CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!
I know, I can already hear your questions as to why, a Company of this reputation would be looking for someone like YOU
It's simple.
I know you. AndI CAN helpYOU
I have been where you currently are.
Down on your luck. Money problems. Addictions. Lonely. So Lonely that the 900 numbers have blocked you from calling them.
So what.
HEY
DO ME A FAVOR.
GOTO YOUR BATHROOM. OR CORNER OF A WALL THAT YOU USE AS A BATHROOM.
Pick up that shard of a mirror that broke when you looked at it today.
Go ahead, I will wait for you to come back.
Trust me, I will be here. I am your friend and willing to help.
..................................................................................................................
That's right,I AM still here.
Thankyou for the few that didn't use the shards on themselves.
Ok, yes, you few, who couldn't find a mirror OR broke the mirror on the way back to this article.I AM still here for all of you.
I know, the spouse is bugging you, blaming you for not having a job, money problems, other issues that need a blue pill...
Your kids, always bugging for money for school trips, expensive clothing and gadgets.
(Stop believing those brats, they quit school years ago and those little suckers sell everything you buy for them because you are CHEAP)
In-laws on your case because they didn't want their precious to marry you!!!!
(But you can't afford a hit man)
OHHH I haven't forgotten about your lovely family that disowned you, and worse. They already have your tombstone up at the cemetery.
Your ONLY friends are people you owe money too, and that cockroach that you can't catch to eat.
We will leave the others that think you're only with them and their is no one else in your life.... to thinking that as you can now run away to a different country.
(I can help with passports
, but legallyI can't
WAIT WAIT
Keep looking into the mirror at yourself.
I have a solution for you.
Yes, I do
Not a joke.
I want youto work for me.
Ok, when, when you stop laughing, you continue reading.
It's true, I can give you employment.
That's right, you did read that right. It's not a job but employment where YOU can have a long and prosperous journey with this company.
We grow, YOU grow.
I WILL bring you out of the shadows and into the light as you work in my mines.
This is not a joke.
As this company grows, so will YOU!!!
Working for me, you will have a generous daily payment for every day you work.
Free food, water, clothes, showers all included.
And THAT'S NOT ALL!!!!
You will have full benefits the day you start.
Still interested??
I just have a few questions for you to answer to yourself, imagining talking to me, ShadowyStalker at my beautiful mine.
Oh? Some of you are wondering about your low Economic Skill is going to keep you back from being hired?
Hardly.
But askyourself. Be true to yourself. Even if you have to lie to tell yourself the truth.
Can you do that?
Ok, good.
Answer these questions:
Are you a hard worker?
Are you willing to give your miserable life another chance at redemption?
Do you need a place to work?
Do you need to leave your current troubles behind you?
Blame your Low Economic Skill on others? And never yourself?
Are you interested in a decent pay?
Willing to attempt to grow with the company and make something of your useless self?
If you have answered yes to any of those questions, thenI have the job foryou!!!
I admit. It is hard work. If your lazy or out of shape. Don't worry. You won't recognize yourself after a few weeks working these mines.
For those of you that are at the Economical Skill of 1. The job pays $5/day.
For those of you that are at the Economical Skill of 2. The job pays $10/day.
AND HERE'S THE BETTER PART
As this company grows off of your hard labor and skill, WE will be able to open up payroll for higher skill. So when YOU grow, WEgrow together!!!
BUT WAIT....... YOU MUST NOT HESITATE SIGNING UP.
THERE ARE ONLY 2 SPOTS PER SKILL AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW!!!
Come join us. We offer top of the line benefits...including a death benefit if a mine collapses and your body isn't found in 1000 days.
Your family will be VERY HAPPY with your sacrifice.
Don't worry about your unwanted work habits concerning anything bad to the Human Resource Department.
WE DON'T HAVE ONE!!!
Benefits are as stated:
Medical: Fully covered from the day you join.
Dental: Fully covered from the day you join.
Vision: Fully covered from the day you join.
Retirement: 1 Million Gold paid out over the span of 500 years.
I am sure you will join us, and we will become a
FAMILY
**Disclaimer*
1) Medical coverage gets you into the hospital and
politelythrown out.
2) Dental coverage is a brick to the mouth.
3) Vision check up is eye surgery so that you don't see the brick.
4) Now see #1.
5) All beneficiaries are changed to the company 5 seconds after accepting the contract.
6) Not MY problem that no one reads the fine print and missed this.
7) Thank you all for your patience.
Hope to deal with you soon
Previous article:
SC's (7 years ago)
Next article:
Backgrounds (7 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
