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到底谁不正常

一哥们晚上跑药店买伟哥,药柜前遇到一老大爷,居然也买伟哥。 于是那哥们说:大爷看你一把年纪了,还买这个有点不正常吧。结果那老大爷看了他一眼,说:小伙子你三十不到,你买这个才不正常吧... |

上梁不正下梁歪

今天小明回家后低着头对他爸爸说,老师说我上梁不正下梁歪,有其父必有其子。 小明老爹挥手就是一耳光怒骂到:你掀女同学裙子了?

走超市待着去

老公,我想吃西瓜,等着,我去给你买……老公家里没雪糕了,行,我去买……老公,我想吃果冻了,行,我还去买,老婆下次想要啥,一次说清楚……老公,我想吃葡萄了,我艹尼玛的!来来来起来,别睡了,起来!走,我给你送超市去睡!

(⊙_⊙)?

一美女去看医生! 医生:哪里不舒服? 美女:嗓子疼!医生:是不是来月经了? 美女娇羞的答到:嗯!

(⊙_⊙)?

l

经过一个配钥匙的小摊,听见一MM问老板:“老板,可以配钥匙么 ?”老板答:“可以啊。 ”然后,MM呆站在摊前,老板望着她,长时间的沉默…沉默 ……最后老板忍不住了说:“钥匙呢?”MM:“钥匙?我有钥匙干嘛还来找你配?”

甲:“你抢到火车票了吗?”乙:“抢到了。 ”甲:“What?我用了十几个抢票软件都抢不到,你用什么抢的?”乙:“其实也没什么,就用了这个。”说完,他从怀里掏出了一把菜刀......

上学的时候有一老师姓侯,有次上课的时候他不小心放了个屁,当时全班肃静,大家都在各种忍啊,老师也很尴尬。 这个时候突然我室友的手机响了,“猴哥,猴哥,你真了不得!……”大家再也憋不住了,老师脸都变色了!

感觉小时候学的词汇跟现在不一样了,为什么现在听到“波涛汹涌”这个词,再也联想不到大海了…

和老婆吵架,她寻死觅活的翻出来一瓶农药:“信不信我喝给你看?” 过了一会儿,她又把农药递给我:“老公,我拧不开!”

以后别人骂你“杂种”时不要跟他对骂,首先承认你是杂种,然后说他是纯种。 解释给他,所谓纯种就是指:他爸跟他爸亲姐妹也就是他姑姑生出来的他就是纯种!(也就是生物学上的近亲繁殖)不要问我是怎么知道的。我会告诉你是我们初中的贱英语老师教的吗!

刚吃完饭散步中。 看到一个大概七八岁的小孩斜躺在地上大鼻涕浪汤的抱着一个女人的大腿,一边哭一边说:“妈呀。妈呀。我下次一定准时写完家庭作业!你别带我去跳舞了行吗?我现在整个人都小苹果了!我求你了!妈呀!!”

喜欢一个同学。 是大二学姐。因为很多原因,就只是那样静静的喜欢着。挺好的。

三种妹子对于洗澡的态度: x感妹子:又可以秀身材了 普通妹子:好烦啊,又要洗澡了 女汉子:哈哈哈,又可以站着尿尿了

老外眼中的“中国人标志”:⒈喜欢吃鸡脚鸭脖;⒉吃鱼时吸鱼头;⒊吃动物内脏;⒋喜欢唱卡拉OK;⒌遥控器外面包着塑料;⒍从没吻过你父母;⒎餐后争着抢着买单;⒏拜访别人时会带着水果;⒐只用筷子打鸡蛋,从不用打蛋器;⒑在家喝茶总是用一个带盖的茶杯;⒒吃自助餐之前先把自己饿个半死。

一天一位母亲带女儿去吃饭,女儿说:“妈咪妈咪为什么那些服务员姐姐要带口罩啊?” “哦,这是老板怕他们偷吃让他们带的。 ” “哼怪不得每次你刷马桶要戴口罩,嘿嘿。”

手机和充电器都相互深爱着对方,它们从来都没有分开过。 只是这次主人出差,只带了手机,把充电器忘了,回来之后,手机看到充电器就失声痛哭:“对不起,亲爱的,在我离开你的这段时间里,有次趁我没电的时候……我被别的充电器……那个了……

我太惨了,刚才遛狗遇到一个可帅的男生,遛一只深棕色金毛,正在热情聊天的时候,焖子不知道从哪儿叼了个一看使用者量就很大的卫生巾,飞奔过来趴在了我的腿上。 我现在想死,谁都拦不住。

初中三年好容易当一次升旗手,当着全学校的面,我们4个傻b把国旗倒着升上去了。



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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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