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1、我哥说的
考试的时候问同桌选择题
同桌默默的指了指自己的胸
哥哥会意,填了A
试卷一出来
才发现正确答案是D……

2、我说:妈,明天母亲节
妈说:儿子,二十多年没白养你!
我说:你准备请我们去哪庆祝一下。
妈说:滚

3、一哥们儿来重庆曾家上班,想找个美女合租房子,此为背景! 美女:你是男的啊!和你合租房子,万一你半夜爬到我房间怎么办? 哥们儿:姑娘,你想多了!我不是那种人! 美女:那就好! 结果我哥们来了一句,怎么可能会等到半夜!

4、女朋友经常被lz恶作剧吓到,有一天她刚洗了头发就披头散发来吓我,然后我装作惊恐的样子说你看看镜子里是谁,她瞟了一眼镜子把自己吓得后退一步一屁股坐到了地上。

5、经常听别人说,这辈子有个貌美如花得娇妻和一位过命相交的兄弟就够了。我特么想大声告诉你,武大郎做到了!

6、刚刚正把老婆推倒在床上的时候,她突然变的很严肃地问我:“说,你是不是出轨了?”lz觉得莫名奇妙,也就将计就计回答:“你怎么知道!!”谁知那货来了句:“那男的是谁?”
泥煤的,还能不能愉快的过日子了。

7、今天出门倒垃圾,看到一对小情侣在卿卿我我,女的撒娇说:“我该走啦,让我走吧”。男的抱着不撒手:“就是不让你走,叫爹也不让走。”听得我这个单身狗也是醉了……

8、大大的,不割。闺女两周岁,一天我和老婆都在家休息,早上起床我在客厅看电视,老婆要给闺女穿衣服,闺女死活不同意说:我要爸爸穿。老婆气愤的走到客厅把衣服甩在我脸上说:你情人让你给她穿衣服去。我只好拿起衣服一路欢歌的去了,嘿嘿

9、老婆说:只要你固定每月把公粮交上了,随便你在外面花天酒地,找情人都可以。
我:都上交了,哪里还有资本在外潇洒?
:不是每月给你两百块钱吗,
我。。。。。

10、今天吃面看见一个美女在手提包里各种翻,我心血来潮凑过去问:“美女,找啥呢?”
美女:“流氓。”
我:“不用找了,我就是。”

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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