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1. 一个铁匠师傅年老了,徒弟对他很不好,朋友给他出了个主意:“告诉徒弟有一个祖传秘诀,如果徒弟善待他师傅百年之后就将秘诀传授给他!”徒弟果然从此善待师傅,师傅临终时说:“这个祖传秘诀就是铁烧热了不要拿手摸!”
2. 今天在一论坛上看到一帖子,说:人如果身上有一按钮,一按下去就会消除所有的记忆,你会按吗?神回复:这不关按不按的问题,只怕会看到后说:“咦,我这里怎么有一个按钮、按了下去;咦,我这里怎么有一个按钮、按了下去;咦,我这里怎么有一个按钮、按了下去。。。
3. 昨天和二货室友坐公交,他一直在打电话,车来了我问他有两块零钱不,他摇头表示没,刚好有个大叔乞讨,拿个碗晃了下好几个硬币,我室友看都不看伸手拿了两个,估计以为我给的。结果两人差点干起来,最后放了50块在碗里才平了这风波。
4. 初中男友跟我分手理由是,我读1班他读2班,他说接受不了异地恋,……高中男友跟我分手理由是,我每次来大姨妈时间太久了……大学男友跟我分手理由是,我胸太大,他无法一手掌控……现男友跟我分手理由是,我俩都是B型血,万一以后生个2B怎么办……劳资感觉不会再爱了……
5. 你们知道没女票是什么感觉吗?昨天坐公交,一美女贴上来对我说:“老公你钱包带了没?我等会儿想买衣服...老公...老公...”我不为所动,直到小偷下车了,美女说:“哎!你这人怎这样啊!我提醒你钱包被偷了,你还不知道么?”我回过头泪流满面的说:“我知道的,偷了就偷了,你能叫我这么多声老公也算值了!”...值了...
6. 今天散步,被一个小孩子吐口水,我没有生气,还给了他一块糖,对他说:“你吐口水吐的真好,奖励你一块糖吃。以后你见了人就吐口水,他们也会奖励你糖吃的!”我就不信没人收拾他!
7. 喂,是FM95.2点歌平台吗?
嗯,你好,是的!
我刚在中医院门口捡到一个钱包,里面有五千块钱呢!
好的,先生麻烦你留下你的联系方式,我们会尽快找到失主的!
不是的你搞错了,我想点歌,我想点那首张大伟的(倍儿爽)来表达我现在的心情!
8. 小时候跟父母去住在山里的亲戚家玩,我结识了不少小伙伴;一天晚上,我和一个小伙伴上山玩,我发现一只可爱的狗狗,于是就大喊:“原来你们这还有这么可爱的哈士奇呀!”小伙伴十分紧张的把我拽到了一旁,然后小声说道:“原来你们城里人都叫它哈士奇呀!我们这都管它叫狼!”就这样,我们被包围了...
9. 公司年会,大酒店聚餐,同事们边吃边表演节目。轮到我了,二胡独奏:二泉映月。一曲完毕,下面掌声雷动。我大喊:”我拉的好不好?!”同事们异口同声:”好!”我又问:”你们吃的香不香?!”又是异口同声:”香!”事后我被暴打一顿。
10. 昨晚宿舍熄灯正准备睡觉,宿舍楼下传来嘈杂的声音,我一看是一伙人在打群架,一个宿舍兄弟没看清以为是有人在宿舍下面表白(女宿舍就在旁边),他就嚎了一嗓子:“在一起,在一起!”当时很多人在楼上围观,他这一嚎,很多不明真相的也在跟着喊,还有喊亲一个的,喊了一会最后俩伙人就打不下去了。。。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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