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大家都应该知道考空军体检很严，我一个 朋友开始几项全合格，结果最后因为他下面太大 了，操作杆在两腿中间，会影响操作，把他刷 了！回去他也不敢给家里人说是这个原因被刷 的，想想这也不全是件坏事！
早晨和儿子上街，由于没吃早饭我说买点 包子吃，儿子说好，我说我没零钱，他说不吃 了，可是我知道儿子口袋里有零钱啊!-_-///
一兄弟找我，“哥，嫂子在家吗？”“靠！我 在家你特么找我媳妇干什么？！”“那你给我拿 200块钱救救急吧哥。”“媳妇，有人找你！”
你最难忘的看病经历是什么？爹妈为了生 二胎，让年幼的我装扮成痴呆儿童去医院检查这 种事我会乱说？！
我爸用电热水壶烧水，插上电源后发现漏 电，就喊我，你快来摸一下这个壶，看是不是漏 电，我上去一摸，草！差点被电个半死！不说 了，头发竖起来了，我整理下发型！
1，孟母三迁的故事告诉我们，如果要让孩子像孟子那么出色，手上起码要有三套学区房
2，上意难测
老板今天戴什么手表？ 戴个锤子！
老板今天带哪个手机？ 锤子!
老板今天好精神啊 锤子精神！
3，有没有懂跑车的朋友，求推荐一款400万到800万的跑车，要求性能好，起步快，马力大，舒适性高的，外观时尚又好看的。我拿来当手机纸壁。
4，尹相杰吸毒被抓后，在监狱中演唱新版纤夫的爱：
妹妹你做船头，哥哥我先吸两口
5，刚才去给爱车做保养，一辆满车身LED灯光放着《小苹果》的华晨宝马320从我旁边开过，我不屑的斜了一眼给修车师傅科普：“开这种车的都是装逼的，虽然是宝马，但是不贵的，顶多30来万。”师傅白了我一眼：“少特么废话！打气1块，链子上油一块，一共两块！”
6，我到南美驻勤了一年，好久没看见王处了！见面就热情地招呼，王处激动的拥抱了我。回家老婆说：“我在楼上都看见了！你可得注意，离他远点！他上柜了！才出来。"我靠！才一年人变化忒大了！第二天，上班才知道是双规啊！吓死我了！
7，喜欢的女生背后有七八个备胎，如何是好？
回答：那只能说明你喜欢的那个女生是辆破车，好车哪需要那么多备胎。
8，今天上课查迟到很严，被纪检部的堵住，让填名字。因为处罚可严，就想着填损友的名字，刚拿起笔，突然发现上面已经有我的名字了......
9.躺在沙发上看电视，女儿笑嘻嘻的跑了过来说要我带她去游乐园，我说我没钱，钱都交给妈妈了，她说不信然后各种发嗲，哎呀我实在受不了了，就索性答应了说我这几个月偷偷藏了点，我这刚要起身带她去那一刻女儿就奔去房间，嘴上还喊着妈妈~妈妈~爸爸身上还有私房钱！那一刻我的心拔凉拔凉的 这还不是GC，下面神回复：
这就是你强X女儿的原因？
10，今天没事去网吧玩会，我旁边机器有个小孩接电话：喂，妈，我在学校呢。我一想这孩子从小不能撒谎啊，我就在旁边喊了句：网管！过来调下机器。心想这孩子回家挨顿打是肯定的了。过一会媳妇给我打电话问我在哪呢，我说在网吧呢，谁道这孩子喊了句：209退房。我擦，这小兔崽子，我这下算是废了。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
