Login:
Password:

Forgot password Register

Article


5
   
Report


小明到一个农场参观,
  问农夫:
  我怎么发现农场里
  有一只牛没有长角啊。
  农夫回答:
  牛没有角的原因很多,
  可能是遗传,
  生下来就没有,
  还有可能是后来有病脱落了,
  而它没有角的原因是,
  它是一匹马。

一次英语考试中,
小明正不知所措,
忽见小文已填得满满的,
忙扔纸条过去求救。
不一会儿,小文扔来一个纸团。
小明大喜,忙拆开。
只见纸内包着一块橡皮,
橡皮四面画着A、B、C、D四个字母,
在纸上还有几个字:自己掷。

语文测验,
  有一道填空题。
  要求分别填写《背影》和《春》的作者。
  小明一概不知。
  填第一个空时,
  他悄悄问同桌,
  答日:"朱自清。"
  填第二个空时他又问,
  答曰:"还是他。"
  于是,
  他在考卷上填上
  "还是他"。

上语文课老师说:“其实黄鼠狼是不吃鸡的,那是科学家经过实验得出的。他们曾经把一只鸡和黄鼠狼关在一起,第二天你们猜怎么了?”
  小明同学接道:“鸡怀孕了。”

小明新理了发,第二天来到学校,同学们看到他的新发型,笑道:小明,你的头型好像个风筝哦!小明觉得很委屈,就跑到外面哭,哭着哭着,他就飞起来了。

小明呢,就明天要考试窝,但晚上却在看电视
  小明妈妈就担心地问:书都看完了吗?明天要考试啊
  小明就爽快地回答:妈,我看完了。
  小明妈妈就很开心的赞扬小明:乖,那明天你一定考得很好呢
  小明哭着说:妈,我是说,‘妈,我看,完了’。

老师提问小明 ,树上有十只鸟,开枪打死一只,还剩几只?
小明回答:是无声手枪吗?不是枪声有多大?80-100分贝。在这个城市打鸟犯不犯法?不犯。您确定那只鸟真的被打死了吗?确定。这时,老师已经不耐烦了:“,你告诉我还剩几只鸟就行了,OK?树上的鸟里有没有聋子?没有。有没有被关在笼子里挂在树上的?没有。边上有没有其他的树,树上还有没有其他的鸟?没有。如果有鸟怀孕了,算不算肚子里的小鸟?不算。 打鸟的人眼有没有花?没有花,就十只。教师已经是满头是汗,且下课铃响,但学生继续问:有没有傻得不怕死的鸟?都怕死。会不会一枪打死两只?不会。学生满怀信心地说:,如果您的回答没有骗人“打死的鸟要是挂在树上没有掉下来,那么就剩一只,如果掉下来,就一只不剩。老师当即口吐白沫倒在地上!

小明去李宁买鞋,小明一开口就问:“小姐,这鞋多少钱一斤?”

妈妈:游泳真好

  小明:妈妈,你愈来愈像鱼了

  妈妈:你是说像美人鱼吗?

  小明:不是,你的鱼尾纹愈来愈多了

爸爸:什麼?小明,你在看裸女照片小小年纪就做出这种事?说!这些照片那里来的?

  小明:在你的抽屉拿的

小明:妈妈,你说做任何事,必须有始有终不能半途而废,对不对?

  妈妈:没错

  小明:那,连续剧今天是完结篇,你不能阻止我看完。

妹妹:哥,如果有不良少年勒索我们,怎麼办?

  小明:跑让他追

  妹妹:你跑得赢他们吗?

  小明:我只要跑得赢你就行了

妈妈:上下学不要一个人走,以免被不良少年勒索

  小明:可是同学都不肯跟我一起走 妈妈:为什麼?

  妈妈:他们怕被哥哥勒索

老师:小明,你的美劳作品太好了,明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。

  小明:不行 老师:为什麼?

  小明:劳作是我爸做的,他明天要上班

妈妈:小明,你看,妹妹考100分,你才50分

  小明:我是照你的话做的

  妈妈:我说了什麼?

  小明:你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了

小明:妈,上次我和小毛打架打输了,这次我打赢了

  妈妈:干嘛连打两次架?

  小明:你不是教我,在那里跌倒,就要在那里站起来吗!

妈:上完暑期辅导课就要马上回家,为什麼不听话?我最讨厌不准时回家的人...

  小明:你干嘛那麼生气?你下班没马上回家作饭,我也没生气啊!

小明:妹妹,你干嘛那麼用功?

  妹妹:还不都是因为你

  小明:我?

  妹妹:没错,我们家总要有人有出息吧!

老师:“ 现在上‘急救’课”“有人受伤,第一步要怎麼做?”

  小明:“我知道”“问他要不要器官捐赠?”

Previous article:
大家新年好,新年第一发的礼物是... (11 years ago)

Next article:
1.3 (11 years ago)

ESim
or
Register for free:
Only letters, numbers, underscore and space are allowed (A-Z,a-z,0-9,_,' ')
Show more

By clicking 'Sign Up!', you agree to the Rules and that you have read the Privacy Policy.

About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


| Terms of Service | Privacy policy | Support | Alpha | Luxia | Primera | Secura | Suna | Vexa | Vara | e-Sim: Countryballs Country Game
PLAY ON