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随着我国改革开放不断深入和全球一体化进程日益加快,越来越多的外国人涌入华夏大地,自觉自愿的参加了中国人民建设和谐社会的各项活动,但是由于大部分外国人对于汉语仍然是一知半解甚至狗屁不通,与国人的沟通能力有待提高,造成了许多不必要的误会和麻烦。

有鉴于此,根据国家教育司第250号文件精神特此规定,凡外籍人士流窜入我国境内滞留达三个月以上者,必须通过汉语托福考试,否则将扣押签证,勒令回国。《人民日报》刊发此消息后,新华社发表社论指出:汉语取代英语的时代已经到来。各国政府积极响应并掀起了学习汉语的高潮,美国参众两院通过议案,要求美国总统用汉语发表就职演说;常青藤大学联盟规定,学生必须修完中文课得到全部学分方可获得毕业证书;日本首次将汉语列入胎教课程;恐怖主义大佬近日再次发表讲话,声称“如果连中文都不会,连当人体炸弹的资格都没有”。为方便广大外籍人士复习应考,现将部分模拟试题公布如下:

一、听力部分(15分)

1、甲:吃了没?
乙:忙的没赶上点,随便整了几口。
问:从以上对话可以看出:
甲:甲准备请乙吃饭 乙:乙准备请甲吃饭 丙:乙没有吃饭 丁:乙没有和甲一起吃饭

2、——“学生们别动,让领导先走!”
问:这是一句克拉玛依火灾时的真情告白。发言人有可能是什么身份?
甲:政府官员 乙:傻* 丙:领导的亲外甥 丁:老师

3、甲:你丫死哪里去了?
乙:交班时间打不到车,要不你来接我。
问:乙可能要甲接他去哪里?
甲:火葬场 乙:人民公墓 丙:饭局 丁:精神病院

4、甲:客官,您是打尖还是住店?
乙:我大便。
问:甲、乙的身份可能是:
甲:旅馆门房、旅客 乙:KFC服务员、就餐者 丙:老鸨、嫖客 丁:店小二、闲人

5、——“老弟我埋单吧,一万五怎么样?”(摘自“猥亵门”录音)
问:这里可以与“埋单”一词通用的是:
甲:负责 乙:搞定 丙:付帐 丁:私了

二、阅读理解:(20分)

周公子贪恋美色,也就诸事不顾,肆意叙情。岂知人之真元已失,未免精神倦怠,便就不似先前那等充实身体。况又旦旦而伐之,岂有不欲火上攻之理?所以人之元阳,乃系一身之宝者,不丧失不但寒暑之气不侵,可以长生寿者,即入修炼之道,体健身轻,亦可容易飞升。不信,八仙之中吕纯阳便可相说。他因自幼不丧精元,故他的道术较别的仙人甚高。这人身的精血,岂不是至宝么?玉狐与周公子相会,亦为的是采取元阳,容易修成大道的心意。无奈周公子不知,反以为最美之事。那知夜夜鸳鸯,朝朝鱼水,便是亡身致病之由。([清]醉月山人 狐狸缘全传 第三回节选)

1、“旦旦而伐之”的意思是:
甲:天天要砍柴 乙:天天要打仗 丙:天天要嘿咻 丁:天天要出差

2、篇中提到“吕纯阳”是以下谁的别名?
甲:吕洞宾 乙:吕不韦 丙:吕氏 丁:吕布

3、文中主要观点来源于哪一学派?
甲:道家 乙:儒家 丙:罗马俱乐部 丁:奥姆真理教

4、文中最后一句的本意是:
甲:过多食用红烧鸳鸯和水煮鱼有害健康 乙:做爱有害健康 丙:无节制的做爱有害健康 丁:选择鸳鸯和鱼类作为宠物劳心费神

5、请为本文选择一个合适的标题:
甲:淫人周生 乙:搞什么别搞狐狸精 丙:由来猛男…… 丁:只羡鸳鸯不羡仙

三、文法与常识(10分)

1、“莫怪宫人夸对食,尚衣多半状元郎”——罗履先《南汉宫词》,与“对食”不同义的单词是:
甲:鸭鸭 乙:小白脸 丙:面首 丁:小兽

2、两周时期中国政府机构中,“司马”一职是:
甲:养马的 乙:司机 丙:军事干部 丁:炊事班长

3、明代方孝儒案,被告被独裁君主株连十族。请问九族之外,另一族是:
甲:私人帮会 乙:二奶团 丙:学生弟子 丁:同僚

4、麦当娜曾经是盖·里奇的马子。“马子”一词原意是:
甲:娇小的马驹 乙:《赤壁》里的“萌萌” 丙:马桶 丁:一种野山果,可入药

[难度题]5、《神农百草经》记载:“多食令见鬼,狂走。久服通神明,轻身。”请问描述的是哪种药物?
甲:洋金花 乙:大麻 丙:鹤顶红 丁:三笑夺命散

四、完形填空(10分)

1、锄禾()当午,汗滴禾下()。欲知()中餐,()()皆辛苦。
甲:操、体、口、次次 乙:日、土、盘、粒粒 丙:正、面、腹、颗颗 丁:在、方、其、个个

2、车过黄河,我撒了一泡()。
甲:便便 乙:尿 丙:奶 丁:三聚氰胺

3、但愿人长久,千里共()。
甲:风流 乙:相思 丙:婵娟 丁:意淫

4、乍暖还寒时候,最难()。
甲:将息 乙:困觉 丙:起床 丁:发情

5、与其在()上展览千年,不如在()怀里痛哭一晚。
甲:马路牙子、小姐 乙:舞台、化妆师 丙:悬崖、爱人 丁:荧幕、导演

五、判断题(10分)

1、“不患寡而患不均”——《论语·季氏》,意思是不怕身边没有女人,就怕身边的女人多了不能一碗水端平。()
2、“黑夜给了我黑色的鸡眼”,这句话出自小说家顾城的《英子》。()
3、“你和你女朋友在一起时都干吗?”这句话有一定歧义。()
4、“良辰美景奈何天,赏心乐事谁家院”是《牡丹亭》的唱词,刻画了女猪脚李香君的怨妇形象。()
5、“快男”的意思是射精很快的男人,“超女”指中国农村里受封建迷信思想毒害而超生的妇女。()

六、英汉互译(15分)

1、How are you ? how old are you?
2、我靠!你丫还能坚持做早操?
3、来例煎饼果子!加蛋,甜酱多给!

七、作文(20分)

以“牛逼哉中国”或“牛逼的中国人”为题作文,文体不限。要求不得出现西方泛自由主义反动言论,并应包含以下内容:
1、台湾是中国领土不可分割的一部分。
2、西藏是中国领土不可分割的一部分。
3、钓鱼岛是中国领土不可分割的一部分。
(字数不少于500字,若采用诗歌、戏剧等体裁可酌情加分。)

参考答案:
一、丁、甲、丙、丁、甲(第二题选乙者加五分)
二、丙、甲、甲、丙、丁(第四题选甲、丁者,拖出考场打)
三、丁、丙、丙、丙、乙
四、乙、乙、丙、甲、丙(第一题选甲者,当场扭送公安机关取保候审)
五、×、×、√、×、×(第五题打√加两分,第一题打√者,拖出考场,弹JJ弹到死)
六、
1、怎么是你,怎么老是你?
2、Da*n it! How could you insist on doing morning f**k?
3、Pancake please!extra egg ,much sance!(有发现考生把“果子”翻译成“fruit son”的,送两筐广元柑桔驱逐出境 )

备注:所有考生人手一个龟壳,一瓶墨水,一张宣纸,一枝毛笔。考前十五分钟准备时间内,将龟纹拓下,即成答题纸。所有答案用小篆六号字体按格填入,使用楷体和宋体者酌情扣分。一旦发现胆敢使用蟹爬体、拼音体、N……体者,一律乱棍打出。我们的原则是毁人不倦,考死为止,考的外国人十年寒窗学到偏瘫,最后连母语都不会讲。正式考试时间为本月31号,请广大外籍人士报名从速。


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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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