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老师:小明,你又上课睡觉!给我站起来!
小明:老师,我的上眼皮和我的下眼皮在生病!
老师:哦?什么病?
小明:自闭症!

老师:今天我也让你们当一回老师,让你们体会一下做老师的辛苦。
小明:上面的那位同学,既然你那么喜欢站着,就TM站到走廊上去。
老师:滚出去……

老师:你说你!啊!这么不争气!你能给你们家!你爸你妈做什么贡献啊!
小明:老人不图儿女为家做多大贡献啊!一辈子不容易就图个平平安安!

幼儿园里,一个小男孩小明送了个发卡给他喜欢的女孩儿。然后他问老师:“老师老师,西西的发卡好看吗?是我送给她的!”
老师说:“好看呀,你怎么不送老师呢?我也想要呢!”
小明:“那……等你长她那么好看的时候再说吧!”

记得那是一个寒冷的冬天。 早上不想起床上学。然后就让同桌小明帮忙请假随便说个理由。结果第二天我中暑的消息传遍了整个学校!

老师:小明,你来回答学校是什么地方!
小明:学校就是连续签到五天,领取作业大礼包的地方!
老师:你滚出去!
.
老师问小明:喜欢小动物么?
小明:当然喜欢。
老师:喜欢到什么程度呢?
小明:怎么说呢,顿顿都有吧!!!

小明:“女人都喜欢被夸么?”
霜霜:“是啊”。
小明:“那今天老师穿超短裙来上课,我说老师你的内裤好漂亮啊,她又让我滚出去。”

课堂上,老师在讲第7章,小明把书随便打开,就低头玩手机,结果被老师发现了。
老师质问他:“讲的7章,怎么把书翻到8章?”
小明淡淡的答到:“我是在前面等着你!”
回答的挺合逻辑啊,怎么老师还是让小明滚出去了。。。

老师:蒸一个包子一分钟,蒸三个包子要多久?
小明:九分钟?
老师:你傻呀!你们家蒸包子一个一个蒸呀?!
小明表示不服:那我问你,吃一个馒头一分钟,吃十个馒头呢?
老师:十分钟呀!你以为我想你一样傻呀!
小明:十分钟吃十个馒头!撑死你个饭桶!
老师:。。。滚出去。

小明:老师,我以后再也不惹你生气了。
老师:这样才是乖孩子,坐下听课吧,来大家翻开16页,这节课我们讲羊驼。
小明:咦,艹泥马。
老师:继续滚出去……

老师:“小明,你用但是造个句。”
小明:“鸭蛋是白色的。”

语文课上老师说:诸葛亮上知天文下知地理,精通奇门八卦,阅读的各种书籍无数。
小明:老师,有本书他肯定没看过!
老师:哦,你说说是什么书?
小明:《三国演义》!

小学里,一天老师问学生:有没有长大想当老师的??
全班唯独小明没举手。
老师把他叫了起来,问:“小明,你长大想当什么啊?”
小明弱弱的说:“老师,我想。。。想当校长!”
老师一愣,道:“想的怪美,滚出去!”

地理老师讲小日本的风土人情:“有谁知道日本人都爱吃什么?”
小明:“他们都喜欢吃马赛克。”

自习课上,教室特安静,一向严肃的数学老师放了一个悠长的屁,全班都抬起了头。。。
就在此时,教室深处悠悠的传来了三个字:“海!豚!音!”
老师的脸色都变紫了,冲着声音传来的方向咆哮,小明你给我滚出去!

老师:同学们,书到用时方恨少的意思是什么?
小明:MD,一书包书才卖5块钱,通宵都不够。
老师:滚出去…

老师:知道为什么车和人都要靠右行么?
小明:因为菩萨保右!
老师:滚出去!! !

老师:“同学们,今天体育老师生病不能来上课,体育改为数学。”
小明:“老师,体育老师长啥样,我们杂都没见过呢?”
老师:“滚出去。。。”

小明:我要请假。
老师:理由。
小明:我下午要做手术。
老师:什么手术。
小明:人体无用副组织群体切除术。
老师:说人话。
小明:理发。
老师:滚出去!

体育课要做蛙跳动作,老师问:谁以前受过伤?可以不用做。
同学A说:我脚断过。
同学B说:我手腕断过。
小明:我脐带断过。
这次小明没滚,只是补罚跳了一节课。

老师:小明,如果你长大了失恋了之后怎么办?
小明:我失恋了就老老实实回媳妇身边。
老师:滚出去……

老师:小明,你读书有没有理想?
小明:有啊
老师:什么理想?
小明:开宝马……领低保。
老师:滚出去……

老师:请用一往情深造句
小明:今天一网情深开业,全天免费,快抢机子去!
老师:滚出去…

英语老师:同学们你们认为最好记的英文单词是什么?
小明:wifi。
英语老师:滚出去!

教室里有点热,于是老师一边讲课一边脱外套,就在老师脱到一半的时候,后排小明突然大喊:“脱!大爷有的是钱!”
老师怒不可竭,大喝:滚出去。

数学课上,老师出题:我们班上有十一位同学,现在老师带了十个苹果,要怎么才能平均分给同学们?
小红:小明滚出去!

师:108好汉上梁山,为什么要排名次?
小明:不排名次难道一起上?梁山哪受得了!!
老师:滚出去!!

老师:请用一句诗来表达年轻时不努力,老了后悔的意思?
小明:少妇不努力,老二徒伤悲。
老师:。。。滚出去。。。

小明:老师我喜欢你。
老师:我不喜欢小孩。
小明:我也不喜欢小孩,我们可以不要小孩。
老师:滚出去!

老师:请大家说说你们的愿望。
小明:去山东蓝翔学挖掘机。
老师:给我个理由。
小明:刨你家祖坟。
老师:滚出去…………

老师:如果追求一个中国女孩,你请她吃什么?
小李:麻辣烫。
老师:韩国女孩呢?
小王:韩国泡菜。
老师:日本女孩呢?
小明:马赛克。
老师:滚出去!

试卷上有一道题,说劝某同学别去网吧,童鞋们答得千奇百怪。最奇葩的是小明,他写道:“某某,你别去了。我已经去过了,今天不营业!”

小明跟同桌吵架,差不多快打起来了,小明把他同桌东西全摔了。
老师问小明干什么,小明说:上你的课,没你啥事儿!

全班作业拖交,班主任发脾气:“为什么你们学习不能像吃饭一样积极。”
小明在底下用不大不的声音说:“你一天吃九顿试试!”

语文课上老师问:同学们你们能不能说出后两字同意不同字的成语?比如说,前途光明,光和明意思就相近!…………
小明弱弱的说:老师蒸蒸日上可以么?
老师愣了一下说,不行再换一个!
小明想了一下说:我知道了,是后羿射日!
老师:滚出去……

老师:小明,你这几天为什么不上课?
小明:我去医院看腿了。
老师:你腿怎么了?
小明:我腿有什么好看的,去看护士的腿了。
老师:滚!!!

“小明,知道为什么叫你站起来回答问题吗?”
“因为站起来说话不腰疼!”

上课中,班主任在讲台上说:同学们,你们要记住,学校是你们的家,你们要爱护学校的一草一木!
小明突然站起来说:老师,我家不欢迎你。
全班肃静。

历史课上,老师讲大禹治水时问道:“大禹为什么三过家门而不入?”
小明应声答道:“肯定是外面有人了”


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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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