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1. 我读小学的时候,被一同学揍了,我叫我四年级的哥哥把他揍了,他叫他五年级的哥哥又把我和我哥揍了,最后我喊我初一的大哥哥来,没有想到他还有个读初三的大哥,那一战是逆风局,最后没有想到我三兄弟赢了,说这么多就是想说读好书真的很重要,那时候我正好学了《田忌赛马》,而我就是田忌的那匹下等马,被他大哥打得哭!
2. 说个高中时的事,一天在小区里看到一个要好的女同学抱着她一岁多的侄子出来玩,那小子依呀咿呀叫我那女同学妈妈…妈妈…,这时我跑过去逗他,叫爸爸 ……不知道我妈从哪冒出来,愤怒地看着我们,带着哭腔说,这么大的事都不告诉我,来让奶奶抱抱!
3. 老师问小明:“你说毛豆和黄豆是同一种植物吗?小明:“是!”老师问为什么?小明说:“你看哦,毛片和黄片不就是同一种东西吗?”“滚远点”。。。。
4. 一女子问禅师说,我单身二十多年,再也不想一个人过年过圣诞了。禅师把她带到一个房间,说:“进去睡一觉吧,梦到什么都会成真的。”半小时后,女子出来了,惊喜地对禅师说:“我们梦到了汪东城,他会陪我过年过圣诞节吗?”禅师摇了摇头:“梦都是反的,说明你在今年圣诞节和过年会被冻成汪。。。”
5. 路上看到一个浑身脏兮兮的男孩,眼睛一直盯着路上一个小女孩手里拿着的一盒牛奶,小女孩喝完了把牛奶随手一丢,那个小男孩赶忙过去蹲下捡起地上的牛奶,并放进嘴里。看到这个画面我鼻子不禁一酸。。刚想拉起他就看见他把盒子吹得鼓鼓的放在地上猛地一脚下去“砰!”他妈的吓老子一跳!
6. 今天老婆问我怎么老是有人请我喝酒,我:因为我会尊重他人。老婆:怎么个尊重法。我:每次他们喝了酒吹牛B的时候我都表示深信不疑,这就是对人最大的尊重。
7. 小时候,多希望我妈妈是卖水果的。这样我就可以天天吃橘子,苹果,香蕉。 后来我妈妈真的卖水果了,从那以后,我只能吃烂苹果,烂橘子,烂香蕉。
8. 说一真事,一年级的第一天…第一节课,下课铃一响,同学们起立:“老师再见!”
老师:“同学们再见。”我就愉快的背着小书包回家了,家里人以为第一天放学早……全班找了我半天……
9. 今天听个朋友说起她的女闺蜜,跟一男的最近暧昧。前几天男的邀请她到家吃饭,但女闺蜜没有恋爱经验,就问朋友怎么办。朋友说你看到需要帮忙就帮一下(意思是一起煮饭或洗碗)。女闺蜜说好!然后到男的家里的时候看到饮水机没水了!马上嘿的一声扛起水桶就换...男的最后夸了下姑娘好体力就没有然后了
10. 告诉大家一个恐怖的消息 千万不要在2014年12月31日23点59分上厕所 否则你明年才能出来 !
11.一逗比室友,叫他女友出来喝酒,他女友说大姨妈来了不能去。
逗比:那叫你大姨妈一起来啊………………一起来,一起来!!!
12.一个二货朋友的彩铃,郁闷着我了,那二货的彩玲是
你是谁呀?说话呀!什么?听不清,大声点,你说话呀!再不说话就挂了!
害得我对着旧电话吼了半天。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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