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1. 今天上课听写,老师念:狼狈为奸。我一时脑抽“狈”字不会写,瞄了一眼同桌的!...我去,她写了个“狼被围奸”!
2. 今天被老爸骂了,因为我新设置的彩铃。中午,老爸一个人在坟场给姥爷烧纸钱。看到我的未接来电,给我回电话,就听到我设的彩铃,彩铃是嘟嘟两声后,葛优说话了“别打了,我都看见你了,我就在你身后,你转过来…”然后,老爸转身看看空空的坟场,撒腿就往回跑。
3. 昨天去河南旅游,看到了一欧美小正太,哪里都好。用英语问了一句:“how are you!”只见他悠悠的说了一句:“你弄啥嘞!”
4. 今天和闺蜜吵架!
我伸出中指做鄙视状!
闺蜜大喊:“干嘛?拿你男朋友吓唬我?”
友情尽。。。
5. 我男盆友是真的逗,他脚有问题,医生说以后老了可能会瘸,我怕他难过就说:“以后我做你的轮椅!”他就急了:“妈的,我都瘸了你还要坐我的轮椅!”我凌乱在风中。。。
6. 刚才看见一个交警正在给一个贴好罚单的车拍照,这时那位女车主一溜小跑过来了,交警跟她说:“那里不准停车,影响交通了!”她说:“警察哥哥,我车上留电话了,不准停车你给我打电话啊,贴什么罚单啊…”这位女车主说的好有道理,竟让交警无言以对。。。
7. 经常和女友因为收拾家务吵架,昨天又因为刷碗吵了半天,结果今早发现冰箱上的便条纸上有女友留言,上面写着:关于做家务这事,除了我,你什么都不干!要是长此下去,你连我也别干了!看后二话不说把家里收拾了三四遍!
8. 早上上班,大军骑单车闪电般的速度往前赶,突然一个急刹车把车停路旁,然后躺路上滚来滚去,我心一惊,该不会是抽羊癫疯了吧!我赶紧上前给他好几个耳光,边打边吼:“喂!醒醒,快醒醒,你怎么了!”只见大军激动的说:“哥,别打了,别打了!我只想把衣服弄脏,我值班迟到了!”
9. 儿子这几天会叫爸爸妈妈了,我高兴的叫来爸妈和岳父岳母来家里吃饭。席间我抱着小家伙:“来,宝贝叫声爸爸!”儿子:“爸爸!”“还会叫什么?”“妈妈”我逗他:“还会别的吗?”儿子:“老公!”众人被他逗的笑成一团。我又问:“还有呢?”儿子:“用力…”屋里瞬间安静了。。。
10. 昨晚和女友躺在床上准备睡觉时,她突然把我拍醒说:“我感觉门口有人,你要不起来看看。”我一惊,忍着寒冷走到门口什么也没有,便告诉她:“没有人,快睡吧。”女友躺在床上淡淡的说了句:“哦,那你顺便帮我倒杯水吧。”妈蛋!你是不是计划好了!!
11.上高中时,班里女生的生理期我都了如指掌,多会儿开始,什么时候结束。别问我怎么知道的!我只是负责早上跑操的体育委员!
12.我建议恢复太监制度,官员从太监中选拨好处更多,一可以杜绝性丑闻,彻底扭转官员形象,二可以“根”除官二代,避免“我爸是李刚”现象发生,三可以减少想当官人的数量,从根本上改变国家机构人事的臃肿、庞大现象。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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