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2. 有一次跟一个喜欢的女生聊天，她对我说：“喜欢会英雄联盟的男生！”于是我苦练英雄联盟，过了一个月，我特么就把那女孩子忘得一干二净了。。
3. 最近老用打车软件，然后司机那边会提示：乘客XX向您支付车费多少元。我这个人就是恶趣味，我把名字改成了：拒绝。于是每次付款时，都会听到乘客“拒绝”向您支付车费15元！后来演变成每天换一个名字，于是司机就会听到：乘客“用西兰花”向您支付15元；乘客“竟然”向您支付车费15元；乘客“明天再”向您支付车费15元。
4. 我趁同事不注意把一个王八的贴片贴他衣服后面了，同事一直没发现，一连贴了好几天都没有告诉他…后来胖同事自己发现了，就问他媳妇：“你洗衣服的时候没看到这个粘片么？”媳妇：“看到了呀！”同事：“那你怎么没给我摘下来啊！”媳妇无辜的说：“我还以为是商标呢，怕洗坏了，特意摘下来洗的，等干了又给你粘上去了！”
5. 我认识一个朋友，与女友在外面同居，估计没做好措施，导致女朋友怀孕了。男孩慌了，于是求救于家里，家里人气到不行，干脆不理他！父亲节那天，想到这是个好机会，为了讨好爸爸，于是立马编写短信给他爹：“爸爸祝您父亲节快乐！”等着他爹回他消息，果然，不到2分钟，他爹真回了！只有两个字 “同乐！”
6. 上次充话费，结果充错了，给别人充了100，想来想去给那人打了个电话，结果是个妹子，便约出来要她陪我聊会，见面了是个美女，从此以后就一直帮她充话费，后来终于成我女朋友了。爸妈问我：“怎么谈的！”我回答说：“货真价实的充话费送的。。”
7. 在民政局结婚登记处门口，碰到俩刚拿完证的小青年，男的很浪漫的对女的说：“老婆，结婚仪式那天，我们就烧掉结婚证，因为离婚需要它，我们一辈子不离婚！”女人很幸福的说：“老公我爱你！”…看到这幸福的一幕，我在心里默默的对他们说：“S…就是任性，以后看你家孩子怎么落户口！”
8. 昨晚开车回家因雾霾太大，找不到高速出口！于是下车查看。正巧碰到一哥们儿，那哥们儿告诉我：“再往前二十米就是出口了！”“谢谢您了，您这是这干嘛呢？”“我和你一样，也是下车找道儿的！”“哦，那您怎么不走？”“道儿是找着了，车找不着了…”
9. 晚上吃烤鱼，朋友饶有兴致的向我介绍他们家乡那里的烤鱼做法。说是鱼要先用尿腌一个晚上！我惊呆，但马上就平静了，想是中国地大物博也许这种方法特殊但洗净后兴许能增加口感。然后朋友接着说，而且我们那里腌鱼的调尿很考究的，要加至少十种香尿。。。靠！是料，调料。
10. 楼主高三狗，昨天上午物理老师讲完物理试卷，还有20多分钟下课，物理老师说：“好无聊啊，不如我把你们的化学试卷一起讲了吧！”然后他果然把化学试卷讲了一半，下午化学老师来了听闻此事，崩溃的喊出：“他神经病啊。。。”
11.初中时上历史课，讲到二战时，班上一雷哥放了个臭屁，不一会儿，整个教室弥漫着一股臭鸡蛋味儿，这时老师发话了，二战的特点，就像这个屁，影响范围比较广，持续时间比较长，破坏性特别大，_ _ _，从此二战的特点我再也忘不掉了。
12.我有一闺蜜同事，她男朋友今天来看 她，晚上到，下班后拉着我去超市，啥都没买就买了一包超辣的辣条，我说平常也不见你吃这东西啊，她幽幽的来了一句，这TM是保护措施，我好像瞬间懂了一个新技能！
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
