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2、老婆：到底是游戏重要还是我重要？老公：当然是你重要啊，亲。。。老婆：那你为什么还一直打游戏呢？？？老公：老婆，那是因为我舍不得打你啊啊。。。。。。。
3、女神终于醉醺醺的打电话给我了：我在宾馆，快来帮我醒醒酒啊。。。我穿上新衣服高兴的屁颠屁颠的就去了，结果一开门就吐我身上了。。呜呜呜呜。。让我去死吧。。心都碎成渣渣了啊。。。耳边的声音还在环绕：“我就知道，一看见你我就能吐出来了啊。。。要死了的节奏啊！
4、昨天看见一小孩在大冬天吃雪糕，出于关心，上前告诉他，这样会吃坏身体的，小孩告诉我，他爷爷活了104岁，我问：吃雪糕吃的？他说：不是，我爷爷从不管闲事！
5、上初中的时候晚上出去网吧通宵，三个人掏了通宵钱就没剩下多少，大夏天的又渴，于是乎就买了一瓶矿泉水，一个孩纸玩到2点多的时候就睡了，然后另外个孩纸把水喝完了，嘘嘘到瓶子里了，早晨起来以后，突然发现瓶子是空的，这时早睡的孩纸偷偷给我说， 额我发现昨晚买的水是坏的，有股味道。。。。
6、老公兄弟娶媳妇，四点多起床帮忙接亲，不想老公出门抱着撒娇道：你就舍得丢下如花似玉的娇妻出门啊？老公边走边说：来个贼都怕你把人家给上咯。听完这句 直接一个拖鞋飞过去，放屁！老娘明明是娇妻。然后老公看着我，我瞅着飞粗去的拖鞋。。。
7、老师：什么叫倾国倾城？学生：一个女子的力量可以把国家的城墙给推到，形容女子长的健壮！！老师:....
8、损友小时候去天安门，盯着一个兵哥哥看半天，兵哥哥好毅力依旧不动眼睛都不眨。 损友问他你有眼皮吗？兵哥哥脸一下就垮了。她妈说，鱼才没有眼皮。损友说，哦 ，原来他是鱼。。。。。哈哈。笑死了。。。。
1.早上去小店买水，先给钱了再拿水，拿完水后就走出去，这时候老板的狗冲出来把我给栏了下来，还一直叫。 我说已经给钱了，狗看了看老板，只见老板点了点头。狗就跑回去了。吓死我了。。。
2.前两天去医院,挂的专家号，医生看了下，然后告诉了一下病的名称，就给我开了药，在开药的过程中，我问这是什么原因引起的，医生来了一句“回家百度查去”。。。度你娘！
3.中午老板视察自己的建筑工地时发现有个人在角落看漫画书, 老板问:“你一个月的工资多少钱?” 那人答:“一千.” 老板掏出钱包数出1000元给他并大声吼道:“你这个月的工资,马上离开!” 那人高高兴兴地走后，余怒未消的老板问旁边工人:“他是哪个部门的?” 工人小声答道:“他是来送快餐的”
4.某中学，教育局的人到学校抽考，在大会上宣布：“为了公平起见，今年我先抽考一年级，明年抽考二年级，后年是三年级的。”学生：“擦……不都是我们年级么？”咱们年级谁得罪了领导？
6.洗澡的时候发现浴室里有只虫子，于是直接拿喷头淋它，结果发现小东西在水里洗的很滋润，于是把水温调到最高档，直接烫死。然后，哥得意地把喷头转到了自己的身上……
7.早上坐车回公司，一个女的没位置坐就站在我面前，车上很挤，路上很颠簸，她的mimi蹭了我的脸45分钟的路程，当时出现了一个很龌龊的念头。。。。如果我是男的就好了。。。
8.一姐们坐公交车，身边坐了一陌生大妈。 手机响起，大妈接电话，十分爽朗地对着电话说：“啊，我今天上午没空儿！我得陪慧慧去医院做人流！” 拥挤的车厢瞬间安静…… 我瞥了一眼身旁的大妈，转回脸来的时候，发现全车人都在盯着自己。但我真的不是慧慧。
9.小时候煮饺子一锅只能煮两碗半，每次我我都抢一整碗吃，我哥悄悄拿起半碗的吃，二十多年我才反应过来，他先吃那半碗是为了快点吃完去吃第二碗。。。。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
