Article
2、偶见一微博写到：诺言和放屁有什么区别？一哥们个性回复：诺言是甜的，放屁多半是臭的。
3、交通通知：因93号汽油 上涨至8元一升，车流量下 降 ，但行人流量增加，交通压 力增大。为此，从5月1日起实 行路人限行。单眼皮单日出行，双眼皮双日出行，一单一双 夜间出行，戴墨镜者按故 意 遮挡号牌处理，对盲人或闭眼 出行者按无牌号处理。
4、说个真事，以前上班的时候吃饭点一盖浇饭“宫爆鸡丁”。一女孩点的是鸡胗，老板问了“谁的是鸡？”我们异口同声“我是鸡！”那缺德老板躲那偷笑……汗。
5、刚起床，邻居家一不认识的小孩就跑我房间里叫我哥哥，还帮我这帮我那的，这小子嘴真乖！就开了电脑给他玩。玩了一两个小时之后他突然大声叫到：叔叔叔叔，电脑死机了怎么办！…握肋个擦！…原来你是想玩电脑才叫我哥哥的！！！
6、上班忽然肚子痛，跑去厕所，刚刚脱下裤子，刚蹦出一屁，发现手纸没带，于是只能穿上裤子跑出去拿纸了，然后隔壁坑一哥们，悠悠的来了一句：“这素质，放个屁还要来厕所放。。。”
7、这问题有过多少女朋友就被问过多少次。新交一女友也问我：“我和你妈掉水里了，你先救谁。” 我说：“我让我妈救你，她小时候能在长江两岸游两个来回。” 女友有些不高兴，说：“你为什么不下来救我？” 我说：“我要是下来了，你就没救了，因为我不会游泳，我妈肯定先救我。”
8、说个朋友的。她和男友出去逛街，压马路时候撒娇说：背我，男友看了眼前面路边停的白色汽车说：好吧，背到那个车那里，然后费半天劲把她弄到背上，刚走两步，车开走了。。。
9、这世界，反应慢的会被玩死，能力差的会被闲死，胆子小的会被吓死，酒量小的会被灌死，身体差的会被累死，讲话直的会被整死，能干活的会被用死。所以干任何事情不必太认真。不然人在天堂，钱在银行。。。
10、父亲：”凡是来了客人，我叫你拿烟时，拿与不拿，你要听准我的话。“ 儿子：“我不懂您的意思。” 父亲：“就是说，以后来了客人，我说‘拿烟来’，你就真拿；我说‘拿烟去’，你就一去别回来了。”
11、表侄很挑食，表哥想改掉他的坏毛病。夹着一把猪心放到他碗里：“你必须得吃掉它！” 表侄不愿意。这时表嫂劝导他：“你爸也是为了你好，这可是你爸的一片心啊！”
12、最近工作很累，压力很大。于是QQ上问一个认识很久的朋友：“如何解压”。回复：“按右键选WinRAR”。！
13、小李为讨女朋友欢心，特地去中华剧院买来两张戏票。看完第一幕，舞台上打出字幕：“第二幕——一年以后。” 小李一见，拉起女朋友要走。女朋友不解。小李说：“还愣着干什么，我们一年以后再来看。” 女朋友哭笑不得，挣脱他的手：“好吧，你先走，我们一年后再见！”
14、今天做数学题。十个人排队，甲不能站中间，不能站两端，还得和乙挨着，还得和丙隔两个人，还得站丁后面。经过激烈的讨论，大家一致认为，让甲滚～
15、有一句,说一千句，是作家，这叫文采。有一句,说一百句，是演说家，这叫口才。有一句,说十句，是教授，这叫学问。有一句,说一句，是律师，这叫严谨。说一句,留一句，外交家，叫辞令。有十句,说一句，是政客，这叫韬略。有一百句,说一句，是和尚，叫玄机。有一千句,说一句，叫遗言。
16、我出门前照了照镜子，老公道：“别照了，也就那模样，很丑。”我说：“我就算不好看，也没你说的那么丑吧？”老公道：“你真的很丑，别不相信…你比貂蝉丑吧？你比昭君丑吧？你比西施丑吧？”顿了顿，估计没想起四大美人剩下的一个，于是说道：“你比…你比你老公丑吧？”
17、记得初中时老师出了个半命题作文《xx压力》或《压力xx》，我们都写了“成长的压力”，“考试的压力”或是“压力下的我们”云云，唯独我们班一旷世奇才写了一篇说明文――《压力锅》。
18、家有罗莉一枚，三岁半，今天送她去幼儿园，途中闯红灯被交警拦下开罚单时女儿问交警红灯是什么？可不可以吃？我凌乱了！交警还装可爱的说“不能吃的”女儿突然大声说“不能吃你还要我爸的钱…”。。。。再次凌乱。
19、两个小男孩的对话。 其中一个男孩说：“我们先恋爱，长大后你就嫁给我吧！可以吗？” 另一个：“你姓什么？” “张啊？怎么了？” “没事！我姓韩！我妈妈说了，同姓是不可以在一起的，我们不同姓就可以。” “哦！”两人牵着手跑远了。
20、一MM在办公室抹护手霜。一个男同事凑过来，说：“我也要抹。”说完就把双手伸出来。MM看了一眼道：“你这手应该抹护发素啊。”
21、姑娘和小伙彼此相爱，感情渐浓，却始终未越雷池一步。姑娘最先忍不住了，送给小伙一枚精致的安全套，以此暗示。不料，第二天小伙提出分手。姑娘悲痛欲绝，后悔莫及。而此时，小伙正在向他的哥们控诉：这女的太特么人精了，想分手却不正面跟我说，送个破气球暗示我吹了，MD，吹了就吹了。
22、我问一朋友：“假如你和一个你暗恋的姑娘去玩，突然你们两个内急都憋不住了，如果不马上入厕马上就会拉裤子，你让她先去，还是你先去？” 朋友大义凛然道：“让姑娘先去！” 我说：“那你怎么办？” 朋友道：“我直接在外边解决。” 我问道：“你为什么不进男厕所？”
23、主持人问男嘉宾：“为什么来报名参加非诚勿扰？”男嘉宾回答：“我的两只手受伤了。”内涵啊！
24、愚公家门口有两座山，他决心把山移走，智叟笑他：人的生命就那么长，怎么可能呢？愚公正色道：我死了以后，还有儿子，儿子死了，还有孙子，子子孙孙无穷匮也，总会把山移走的。天帝听到这番话很感动，派了两个精壮威猛的大力士，来帮他们家……生儿子。
Previous article:
我们应该穿越去哪里？ 24 (11 years ago)
Next article:
我们应该穿越去哪里？ 25 (11 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
