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人家有喜欢的男生了
今天上体育课,肌肉拉伤,拉住韧带了!
下楼梯,腿疼,一时忍不住,
直接单膝跪地到一哥们面前,
这不是高潮,那哥们直接捂着脸,
来了句:“人家有喜欢的男生了!”
可是现在我爸不同意了
男朋友带小凡去见家长,妈妈跟小凡相处甚欢,鸿门宴结束不久后,
男朋友:亲爱的,你是怎么说服我老妈同意我们在一起的。
小凡:没事,我就跟她说,如果她不同意我当你老婆,我就当你后妈。我聪明吧。
男朋友:可是现在我爸不同意了。
你以为都是假的?
好兄弟想跟女友分手,
非要拉我去壮胆。三人见了面,
他就说自己是同性恋,一直喜欢我!
我靠!我在旁边尴尬地想哭!
最后他女友说:“祝你们幸福!”
天空下着雨,我们打着一把伞默默走着。
突然兄弟说:“你以为都是假的?”
奥妙全自动
寝室有位仁兄,整天对着电脑玩魔兽,
衣服差不多一个星期洗一次,
每次都是一大堆全放进盆里,
用洗衣粉泡着,十几分钟后用水一冲搞定,
问他都不用刷也不用揉的吗?
这牲口瞟都没瞟我一眼回句:
我用的是奥妙全自动。
奥妙全自动?……全自动?……
翻牌
老公陪着老婆看宫廷剧,感叹道:唉,要是我也能像皇上那样,每天都翻牌睡觉,那该多美啊。。。
老婆:想翻牌睡觉是吧?好的,我去给你准备。。。
不一会儿,就拿出一堆牌子,说:“你翻翻。”
拿起牌子一看,尼玛,睡地板、睡书房、睡沙发、睡走廊。。。
我也越来越讨厌我自己了……”
男朋友谈了两年多了,感情一直算稳定。
有一次快来大姨妈,心情莫名烦躁,看着男朋友怎么看怎么不顺眼,
于是对他说:“我发现我越来越讨厌你了,看见你就烦!”
那二货来一句:“我也是!”
我立马火大:“拍起桌子说你说什么?”
那货弱弱的说:“我也越来越讨厌我自己了……”
打手势同学
今天考试,考化学啥也不会,于是给同学打手势同学,同学于是连续指了好几个女生,我仔细观察了几下那几个女生,于是放心地写下了ADCDACDB。
抢地主
英语考试完发试卷,有个同学人品爆发,就对了一个选择题,…三分…英语老师在上面咆哮:你告诉我三分能干什么???该同学弱弱地回答:抢地主…
老大爷功夫这么好,怎么练的啊
一个老人在公园打太极,很有力道,这时候来了个年轻人说:“老大爷功夫这么好,怎么练的啊.”老人说:“我站着不动,用你最大的力气打我试试.”于是年轻人用力的打了老人一拳,结果...被讹了两万六。
没进错洞呀?!
有一个日本学生留学到韩国,找了个韩国女朋友。他在一个电闪雷鸣之夜——韩国姑娘把贞操给了他,办房事时,韩国姑娘大叫:卡西呦西多!卡西呦西多!~!~~ 由于语言不通,日本学生以为是夸他厉害,于是干的更起劲儿了!第二天,日本留学生和同学打台球,他的韩国同学很是厉害!于是日本留学生大叫:卡西呦西多!卡西呦西多!韩国学生迷惑的说:我没进错洞呀?!
小林在车站等公交车,有一个姑娘一直盯着他...
小林在车站等公交车,有一个姑娘一直盯着他微笑,小林知道自己长得挺帅,吸引了姑娘的眼球,于是就原地踱了几圈,这么一来,对面那个姑娘笑得越发灿烂了,小林见了就更加起劲地在原地踱起步来。一旁的一位大妈对小林说:“小青年,别在狗屎上踩来踩去好吗?”。
老王拜访好友,结果只有好友的漂亮妻子在家。。。
老王去拜访他的好友,结果只有好友的年轻漂亮的太太在家,他居然色胆包天地引诱她和他上床,代价是他愿意给她500元。她考虑一下,认为合算,是笔轻松好赚的钱,于是拿出丈夫平时用的剝猍释铽和他上床了。天黑后,她丈夫下班回来了,问道:老王今天来过没有?来过了,你问他干嘛?她心虚地回答。他给了你500元吗?”“什么?500元?她心里一阵惊慌。“嗯!丈夫说:上个月我借给他500元,说好今天一定还给我的。
打嗝
今天一直打嗝,一个人去楼下快餐店吃饭,对面一五大三粗的猛男,我一边打嗝一边吃,突然,对面那男的猛地拍了一下桌子,怒视着我,我被震住了,对视了得有十秒,我冷汗都下来了,打架我肯定不是他的对手啊!人家胳膊比我腿粗!然后大哥说话了:嗝好了吧?我以前就是这么治的.....
我们坐错车啦!
今天坐公交车,中途上来两个小学生,俩人从 上车开始嘀咕……A说,你说吧,B说我不敢,你 说吧。俩人嘀咕了半天,后来A说咱们一起说吧 ,我数123, 1~2~3~那俩货一起:司机!开下 门!!我们坐错车啦!!!全车爆笑,司机将车停到下个车站让俩人下 车了,俩人下车手拉手消失在人群中…
10086
某男看同事将情人电话备注改成10086后,多次紧急情况脱险,便也效仿。
一日晚,该男第一次在妻子面前接到情人电话,还故意让妻子看来电显示:10086。看完,妻子立刻将电话抢来,将电话中正撒娇的女人一顿骂,然后骂丈夫:“老娘傻啊?你一联通卡10086给你打电话,串门走亲戚啊!
你就是我的了
他在女生宿舍楼下用99根蜡烛拼了一个爱心和女孩的名字,可女孩一直没有出现。他傻愣愣看着一地的蜡烛。陪他来的哥们默默蹲下身把蜡烛都吹灭,到最后一根的时候哥们儿笑了。他困惑地问:”笑什么?”哥们站起来温柔地抱住他:”我许了一个愿,如果吹灭最后一根蜡烛她还没出现,你就是我的了。
蛋黄派
有次期末考试,有道填空题,问李清照是___派的词人,lz实在不知道就写了个武当派,卷子发下来的时候老师说有个学生的答案必须得请他家长来看看,我想我完蛋了,结果是同桌被请家长了,因为他的答案是”蛋黄派”!
这蝴蝶怎么没有头呢
有一个画家画蝴蝶画的好,但是他的学生却没有一个画的好的。有一女生一天问他为什麽,画家说:“用功才有成绩。”可是这个女生还是想弄个明白。她听说老师喜欢一个人在夜深人静的时候画蝴蝶,于是她就在半夜的时候爬到老师的窗台下看。巧了,老师正在画。让女生吃惊的是,老师用屁股画蝴蝶。第二天,女生拿着自己的屁股做的画给老师看。她认为自己得到了真传。老师看了看说:“不错,很好,可是这蝴蝶怎么没有头呢。”
姜还是老的辣
一老婆婆在上公交车的时候,后面一小偷把她脖子下的金链子扯下来了。 那小偷得逞后立刻跑走,老婆婆大声喊:哎呀,假的都有人偷啊。 小偷听到后,骂了一句:靠。然后就把金链子丢了。 老婆婆等小偷跑远后,立刻把金链子捡回。说:老娘还会戴假货吗,小兔崽子。
欢迎下次再来
我一大学同学毕业后搞了一年营销,发奋考上公务员,分到民政局婚姻登记处,头天上班,一大早就来了对新人登记,那男的客气,给了一包烟和一包糖,同学很激动,麻利的办好手续,起身握手送别,很有礼貌地说了句:欢迎下次再来。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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