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一哥们早上去上班,没来得及吃早饭,就买了个烤地瓜。上车没座位,就顺手把地瓜揣进了屁兜里。赶上空位,哥们快步上前,一屁股坐在了座位上。这时只听一声轻轻的闷响,一大摊棕黄色的地瓜瓤就从屁股下面挤了出去,还冒着微微的热气……
一车人瞬间沸腾。这哥们连忙想用行动解释清楚,便抓了一把放嘴里,想告诉大家这不是屎。结果……连停车走过来看情况的司机都吐了……

毕业后找不到工作整天宅在家里打游戏,我妈失望地对我说:“你都成年了,还整天在家打游戏,将来能有什么大出息。”
一语惊醒梦中人:对啊,我tm都成年人了,打游戏完全可以去网吧了啊。

在街上走突然看见一对七老八十的老头老太太牵手漫步。
顿时我又相信爱情是永恒的了,但老头老太太下面的一段话让我彻底给跪了,老头:回去吧,外面风大,容易着凉。
老太太:回去了,老头子就不让我出来了。

“想念过去的年代,那时候,天很蓝,水很清,女人坐在自行车后座也会笑。”
“因为那时候大部分人买不起自行车。”

今天去买早餐,看到一个萌死人的小萝莉懂事的对女店员说阿姨请给我一个面包。女店员微笑的弯下腰凑到小萝莉耳边轻轻的说:“tmd你在叫一句阿姨试试”

“有钱,任性。”的下联是什么?
“没钱,认命。”

情人节送女朋友什么礼物好?
给她的银行卡里打5201314元,女人其实不在乎钱,就在乎你有没有诚意。

今天在办公室闲得没事玩磁铁,刚好被老板看到,他伸手过来拿,结果“嗖”的一下,磁铁吸在了他的金戒指上,那场面。。办公室所有人都站起来看到了。。。

一天,女朋友问我:要是我和你妈同时掉水你你先救谁!!!男朋友回答:当然救你呀!!!我妈同事掉水里关我毛事啊!!!~~

某天公厕蹲坑,发现墙上写着“XXX到此一游”
我在后面加了句“不可能,便池这么小”

昨天跟家人去吃饭,饭毕,老爸叫服务生结账并叫他拿有 奖 发 票,拿到票后递给我说:用你的童子手来试试运气。于是我淡定的伸出了我的左手。。。。

作业本检测正常!水笔检测正常!答案到位就绪!座椅安全检测正常!台灯亮度检测正常!手机隔离正常!
写作业倒计时10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3……滴!滴!滴!手机隔离出现故障!警告!警告!不要碰手机!警告!警告!……手指接触手机,系统崩溃!写作业失败!



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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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