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1、有一天,小明去学校,同学们说他的脸像屁股。
小明很伤心的跑了出去,来到了一口井边上。
他把头伸到井里想看看自己究竟是不是真的像屁股。
正当他把头伸进去时,井底的挖井工人突然朝他大喊:
“你TM敢往下面拉屎你就死定了!!!

2、女生对男生说:“其实我挺腼腆的,一看见男生脸就红了。”
男生说:“其实我也挺腼腆的,一看见漂亮女生脸就白了。”
女生说:“你流氓!””

3、一农妇去镇上卖鸡蛋,突然从玉米地里冲出来一个壮汉把她拽进入奸了。
事后,她拍拍胸脯,惊魂未定地说:“哎呀妈呀吓死我了!我还以为你要抢我鸡蛋呢!”

4、晚上,丈夫勃起!问妻:“洗衣否?棒槌已备好。”
妻曰:“无水,明日洗。”丈夫怒睡。
半夜,妻性起!爬上丈夫身,曰:“水来了,借棒槌一用。”
丈夫曰:“不借!自己泡着吧。”

5、“我回来了。”他放下包,她坐在沙发上一贯的优雅。
“不辛苦的。”他从她明亮的眼睛里看出她要说什么,而她,出生就不能说话。
“有你就够了。”他握住她的手,亲了亲她红扑扑的脸蛋。
“今晚吃什么呢?泡面吧。”
他搂了搂她,心中柔情似水:“乖,我去泡面啦,吃完面就给你充气~””

6、记得在高中时,有同学有爱插话的习惯。
一天上生物课,老师说:“其实黄鼠狼是不吃鸡的,那是科学家经过实验得出的。
曾经把一只鸡和黄鼠狼关在一起,第二天你们猜怎么了?”
那同学接道:“嘿,鸡怀孕了!”
“你滚出去……”

7、今天坐公交车,先上来个老大爷我朋友给让座,
老大爷说没几站就到了没有坐,又一站上来一个五大三粗的小伙子,
上来就说赶紧给这大爷让个坐,大爷说不坐了,
这兄台来了句,不坐削你了啊!
老大爷默默的坐下了,全车人都凌乱了……
他又来了句这是传统美德,美德……

8、有次坐电梯,双手都提有东西,刚好电梯里还有一个妹子,
她要去20楼,我对她说:“美女,帮忙按下7楼。”
也许我笑的不甜,也许妹子今天很烦,她对我翻个白眼说:“自己没手啊!”
我放下东西走过去按了下7说:“看这啊,哥有手!还特别灵活!”
接着我按了7以上的所有楼层!

9、小女孩,四岁,很皮实,一天自己在床上玩,
她爸在床边上看电视,突然她不小心从床上摔下来了,自己赶紧爬起来,
到她爸面,果断打了她爸一巴掌,说:“你怎么看的孩子?!’

10、家有小萝莉一枚,一天纠缠的我实在烦了,
就照屁股打了一巴掌,哇哇大哭,找她妈告状去了。
抹着眼泪绕屋子一圈,没找到她妈,绕回来了看见我,
抱着我大腿,梨花带雨的哭啊:爸爸,妈妈打我!
我差点笑喷了!这孩子忘性得有多大啊?还有救嘛???
乍看下了我一跳

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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