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1. 家住33楼,电梯坏了两天了。周末懒得下楼,就叫KFC外送。结果连续两天来的是同一个小哥,第2天来气喘吁吁地跟我说:“姐,明天别点KFC了,麦当劳出新品了,你不试试?”
2. 你们知道什么是狗屎运么,我是美术生,想起当年在画室集训时,老师家养的狗狗每晚都给我的位置上拉一泡狗屎,结果平时画画一般的我居然在考试时超长发挥,然后以文化课比专业课还低的成绩考上了大学~~~
3. 老板:“小明,你大学是不是读电脑专业的啊?”小明:“是的老板,有何指示?”老板:“那好,赶紧过来帮我把楼下几台电脑搬上来吧!”小明一脸黑线……
4. 说个刚刚发生的…上大课,逗比老师戴着麦讲课,结果手机响了,去教室外接电话…好吧,我们全场都知道她晚上要去搓麻将了…
5. 男朋友玩LOL玩的都冷落我了,为了能跟他有共同爱好我也学会了玩,现在3个月了,他青铜3,我黄金5。 他刚刚在跟我讨论以后我们俩多在一起沟通沟通,少去打游戏……
6. 逛夜市,我:“这个怎么卖?”摊主:“380这个是真金的。”我:“10块。”摊主:“看清楚啊这个是真金。”我:“10块。”摊主:“好吧!看你那么执着卖你吧。”我:“我不买,就练练砍价。”摊主:“有本事别跑,看劳资不砍死你。。。”
7. 前几天带着外甥去参加表妹的婚礼,酒过三巡,主持人提出做个小游戏来搞搞气氛,就邀请了十个小朋友上台,外甥也包括在内。游戏规则是每个小朋友按顺序来,从一到十说出一个成语。比如第一个人就说一字开头的成语,第二个就说二字开头的成语,以此类推。游戏开始了,话筒迅速的传下去只听:一心一意!二龙戏珠!三阳开泰!事事如意!五马分尸!没错,我外甥说的。只见主持人的脸明显的抽搐了一下。。。
8. “连个APEC假都没有,肯定是混企业的打工狗,这种人没出息的…”昨天,彤彤在妈妈的逼迫下,与刚相亲交往不到一周的北京男友小崔分了手。但让一家人没想到的是,分手后小崔回了条信息,“都怪我这几天在怀柔开APEC,没顾上你…”
9. 小明: “老师我再也不惹你生气了!”老师:“ 这才是好孩子,大家把课本翻到16页,这一节我们讲羊驼?”小明:“ 咦,草泥马。”老师: “滚出去!”
10. 初中时上体育课与隔壁班几个小痞子发生的言语冲突…,课间休息被几个丫的堵在厕所里揍,尼玛…我属于比较忍耐性的,忍了一会终于爆发了,环顾四周寻找武器,对!武器!没有啊!就在这紧急时刻,我作出了我初中最重要的决定!手抓屎!并立马冲到带头的往他嘴上捂去,尼玛,那酸爽,那哥们当时就呕了,其他人被我拿着屎追到教室…从此我就轰动全校,人送外号抛屎哥,从此再也没人来得罪我了……唉!想想也是醉了。。。
11. 自从老人在家里装了无线网,子女儿孙们回家探望的次数越来越多了。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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