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央视:教你如何看懂新闻联播的大国外交

11月4日的新闻里,有这样一段话:
应国家主席习近平邀请,卡塔尔国埃米尔(国家元首)塔米姆·本·哈马德·阿勒萨尼于11月3日至4日对中国进行国事访问。今天下午,习近平在人民大会堂同塔米姆举行会谈,两国元首共同宣布,建立中卡战略伙伴关系,推动两国务实合作迈上更高水平。
习近平指出,卡塔尔是中东海湾地区有独特影响的重要国家,也是中国在该地区重要合作伙伴。你这次访问期间,我们双方决定将两国关系提升为战略伙伴关系,这是一个重要里程碑,我们要从战略高度规划好全方位合作。
时政新闻总是有这种本事,一大段话讲出来,每个字都听得懂,但你又觉得他什么都没说。这个新闻里最核心的点就是:战略合作伙伴。
好了,我们终于逮住这个槽点了:
到底什么叫“战略合作伙伴”?它跟“合作伙伴”有什么区别?它跟“战略伙伴”又是什么关系?还有那个“全面战略合作伙伴”你又怎么解释?
先别晕,我们今天一定要讲清楚。
大国外交……伙伴多
从1996年起,中国开始给建交国家分档次,起步档是“单纯建交”,然后是“睦邻友好”,再其次是“伙伴”,更高级是“传统友好合作”。
我们要谈的各种伙伴就在第三档里。
为了让大家有个更直白的印象,先给个列表,看看中国的各种伙伴都有哪些国家。(记住这表很重要,看后文你就知道了 ̄)
建设性战略合作伙伴关系:美国
战略互惠关系:日本
全面战略协作伙伴关系:俄罗斯
全天候战略合作伙伴关系:巴基斯坦
全面战略合作伙伴关系:越南、巴基斯坦、法国、巴西
全面战略伙伴关系:英国、意大利、西班牙、丹麦、马来西亚、非盟、葡萄牙、南非、白俄罗斯、印度尼西亚、阿根廷、委内瑞拉
全方位战略伙伴关系:德国
战略合作伙伴关系:韩国、埃及、印度、土耳其、斯里兰卡
战略伙伴关系:波兰、哈萨克斯坦、东盟、墨西哥、欧盟、尼日利亚、加拿大
全面合作伙伴关系:克罗地亚、孟加拉国、秘鲁、智利、罗马尼亚、荷兰
可信赖的合作伙伴关系:埃塞俄比亚
合作伙伴关系:乌兹别克斯坦、匈牙利、波兰
伙伴关系:阿尔巴尼亚、蒙古国
先别晕,等我讲完。

伙伴和伙伴是不一样的
中国之所以有这么多伙伴,还分这么多等级,有一个很重要的原因是中国奉行的是“不结盟”的外交政策,所以中国没有盟友,但没有盟友不代表来者不拒,也不代表一视同仁。
这就好比你奉行“不结婚”的人生政策,但你也会有“最爱的那个女朋友”,“一般喜欢的女朋友”,“将将够用的女朋友”,“想起来就后悔的女朋友”,一样的道理。
那么,具体地讲,这些伙伴之间的区别是什么呢?
我们逐一解释各个名词。
首先,什么叫“伙伴”。在中国的外交词典里,“伙伴”是指可以互相信任,遵守“求同存异”原则,翻译一下就是,你爱怎样是你的事,我爱怎样也是我的事,我保证不在背后搞你,也相信你不会在背后阴我,要搞咱就在明面上公开地搞。上面那个列表里,跟中国连伙伴都不是的国家只有一个——日本。
其次,什么是“合作”。一般来说,单独出现的合作专指经济方面的合作,也就是在商言商,咱们之间,只谈生意,你想看航母?自己造去。合作前面的词缀越多,说明展开合作的经济领域越广,比如“全面合作”、“深层次合作”,都只是个范围问题。
最后,什么是“战略”。战略是一个国家如何看待当前这个世界,并分配经济、军事、安全方面的利益,说白了就是利益分配。
好了,现在我们可以解释上面那一堆“伙伴”了。

中国的伙伴档次解读
伙伴关系:我相信你不会阴我,你也相信我不会阴你,别的没了。
合作伙伴关系:我们不会互相阴,我们还要互相赚对方一些钱。
全面合作伙伴关系:我们不会互相阴,我们还要互相赚对方很多很多的钱。
战略伙伴关系:我们不会互相阴,我们来一起分配利益吧。
战略合作伙伴关系:我们不会互相阴,我们来一起分配利益吧,分配的时候都为对方着想一下。
全天候战略合作伙伴关系(只有一个巴基斯坦):大哥,风里来,雨里去,就跟定你了。
全面战略协作伙伴关系(只有一个俄罗斯):协同进退,步调一致,你弃权我也弃权,你投反对票我也投反对票。
建设性战略合作伙伴关系(只有一个美国):本来我们是敌对阵营的,要互相搞死,但我们建设性一下,还是可以商量商量的。
战略互惠关系(只有一个日本):你的利益分配对我有好处?是吗?真的吗?我不信,你肯定要阴我!
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亲切友好的交谈——字面意思;
坦率交谈——分歧很大,无法沟通;
交换了意见——会谈各说各的,没有达成协议;
充分交换了意见——双方无法达成协议,吵得厉害;
增进了双方的了解——双方分歧很大;
会谈是有益的——双方目标暂时相距甚远,能坐下来谈就很好;
我们持保留态度——我们拒绝同意;
尊重——不完全同意;
赞赏——不尽同意;
遗憾——不满;
不愉快——激烈的冲突;
表示极大的愤慨——现在我拿你没办法;
严重关切——可能要干预;
不能置之不理——即将干涉;
保留做出进一步反应的权利——我们将报复;
我们将重新考虑这一问题的立场——我们已经改变了原来的(友好)政策;
拭目以待——最后警告;
请于*月*日前予以答复——*月*日后我们两国可能处于非和平状态;
由此引起的后果将由*负责——可能的话我国将诉诸武力(这也可能是虚张声势的俗语);
这是我们万万不能容忍的——战争在即;
这是不友好的行动——这是敌视我们的行动,可能引起战争的行动;
是可忍孰不可忍——准备宣战了;
悬崖勒马——想挨打么?
勿谓言之不预也——准备棺材吧。
最后几句自从中国开始韬光养晦发展经济之后就没用过了。
关于“勿谓言之不预也”中国政府的两次生动使用:
一次是1978年越南军队对中越边境的侵犯
另一次是印度军队对中印边境的侵犯

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