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二、把全身毛发都剃光光吧!

嗯嗯,仔细想想,对于现代人来说,裸奔似乎也不是什么绝对无法接受的事情,毕竟眼下已经不是什么讲究三贞九烈的封建年代了。
现代法国的普罗旺斯港外,不是也有一个常住人口200名的裸体者聚居之岛吗?而台湾人民最近似乎也在积极向欧美学习,屡次在台北郊外开办非法天体营……
好了,现在,诸位挂着主角头衔的穿越客经过一番努力,已经基本抛弃了对于当众裸体的羞耻心,在古埃及世界把衣服和节操一起丢掉了。那么是不是就基本没问题了?
喵哈哈哈,很遗憾,还有一项更羞耻的事情在等着大家——剃毛!
大概是环境酷热的关系,埃及人特别关注清洁,习惯于把容易藏污纳垢的头发和体毛全都剃掉,以免滋生虱子等体表寄生虫,诱发各种可怕的疾病——那个年代的医疗水平,同样也是个悲剧。
但是这样一来,埃及的男男女女自然也就统统都成了光头,取而代之的是各种假发。久而久之,光头与戴假发就成了古埃及人的一种习惯,穷人买不起假发,就裹一顶头巾来代替。
反之,如果谁的身上留了很多毛发没剃干净,则会被其他人羞辱和嘲笑,说他很肮脏,不像埃及人。
看过漫画的读者大概都会知道,《天是红河岸》里面的那个拉姆瑟斯,还有他的妹妹,就是因为带着外国血统,又不肯剃光头,结果被其他埃及权贵视为异类,在贵族的小圈子里很受排斥。
更糟糕的是,古埃及人不仅认为头发要剃光,腋毛和阴毛也不能放过,神官甚至还要剃眉毛。
现代社会只有男性需要买剃刀刮胡子,在古埃及则是男人和女人都需要剃刀:男人同时剃胡须和下面的毛,女人用剃刀专门清理自己的阴部——注意,既然古埃及的青少年都是裸体的,那么阴毛有没有剃掉也就不再是个人隐私,而是跟脸上的胡须一样,变成了大家都能看得见的事情。
这样一来,穿越者们就算想要偷工减料,只剃头发不剃阴毛,也是行不通的。若是没剃阴毛就出门,同样要被大家嘲笑,或者被认为是外国野蛮人——古埃及人可是很排外的哟!
由于青铜时代的剃刀很贵,平民家庭往往买不起,所以只好请理发师帮忙。古埃及的理发师不但要帮人剃光头,还要剃腋毛和阴毛,男人和女人的胯下都要剃——千万别把他误会为什么邪恶的调教师啊!
不知那些想要推倒埃及妹子的男主角们,面对这些光头美人会有怎样的感想?感觉像是在睡尼姑?
那么,如果穿越者在古埃及硬是坚持不剃毛会怎么样?
恐怕会很不妙,首先被全社会视为异类,寸步难行不说,而且那时候既没有洗发水也没有香皂,就连点燃艾草驱蚊的土方子,也不晓得有没有被发明出来——富人会焚烧香料驱蚊,但穷人绝对用不起。
这样一来,在古埃及的闷热夜晚,等到你入睡之后,湿答答的汗水和毛发纠缠在一起,会招来许多虱子之类很有爱的小虫子,把你咬得皮肤红肿、满头是包,甚至染上一些当时难以治愈的寄生虫病……
所以,请诸位穿越者还是尊重当地传统,乖乖地接受凌辱……呃,不对,接受剃毛吧!
然而,就算你抛弃了羞耻心,在古埃及社会里,剃除体毛也是一桩非常痛苦的事——那年头可是既没有激光除毛也没有电动剃须刀,甚至连锋利一点的钢铁小刀都没有。
正如《天是红河岸》里面描绘的那样,当时的铁器还是赫梯人秘而不宣的神兵利器,对外国的售价比等重的黄金还贵,绝对没人舍得拿来做剃刀。
而等到冶铁技术扩散开来,钢铁价格大幅度下降的时候,古埃及文明也差不多该灭亡了。
——就连早期的古罗马军团,士兵们也都在使用青铜短剑,更不用说更早之前的古埃及人了。
所以,古埃及人只能用很钝的青铜剃刀除毛(当时还没有剪刀,最早的剪刀要到西汉年间才被中国人发明),甚至就连这种铜制的剃刀,也要到埃及的中王国时期才出现,之前只有更悲催的燧石刀片……由于光用这种落后的刀子实在是剃不干净,理发师们通常还要准备一把镊子,用来直接拔毛。
这下子问题可就来了,在古代没有抗生素和消炎药的时候,因为刮胡子不当心而划破脸皮,进而导致伤口感染化脓,最终一命呜呼的囧人囧事,在东方和西方都有过不少记载。而大家都知道,我们下体的皮肤远比脸皮更娇嫩,同时也更敏感,自然也更容易被剃刀弄伤——所以古埃及的剃刀不给力或许还是好事?
嗯嗯,总之,如果对自己的手艺没信心的话,最好还是找个手艺好本事高的理发师替你剃毛吧!
但不管古埃及理发师对于剃毛业务有多么的熟练,简陋的工具就摆在那里,想要不疼是不可能的。
总之,你在古埃及找人剃毛的时候,有条件的可以先涂原始肥皂——也就是动物油脂加草木灰而已,但穷人还是用不起——没条件的就直接泼点水上去洗一洗,然后理发师一手拿刀,一手薅着你的毛,慢腾腾地来回“锯”……
但由于青铜或燧石刀片太钝,哪怕你痛得死去活来也剃不干净,所以理发师在剃过几遍毛之后,还要拿出镊子(类似现在夹方糖的玩意儿),对着太阳,帮你把剩下的那些毛一根根拔掉……
嗯?这到底有多痛?你自己试着到胯下拔一撮毛就行了,绝对能让你呲牙裂嘴痛不欲生。
更要命的是,万一这师傅的手艺不佳,或者恰好今天不在状态,那么你的下体就很可能会被割得血迹斑斑,好像刚刚从阉割太监的“净房”或者说“蚕室”里出来一样。
正因为在铁器时代之前的剃毛工作是如此痛苦,还停留在石器时代的玛雅人,一般会给自家孩子从小用热毛巾敷脸,让他再也长不出胡子来。
但这个办法不能用在生殖器官上,否则很容易导致绝育。
亲爱的诸位穿越者们,尤其是女性同胞们,鉴于古埃及的剃毛服务是如此的糟糕,你们在穿越到尼罗河畔之前,最好还是先到美容医院做一下全身的激光脱毛吧!
(说起来,我一直很好奇凯萝尔和夕梨在古埃及是怎么剃毛的?莫非她们都是天生白虎?)

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USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


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