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1. 今天去民政局,旁边一对老头老太太来办离婚,老头扶着老太太上楼梯。俩人一坐下就开始吵,原来事情的主要原因是老头炒菜的时候把菜叶子和菜帮子放一起炒了,并且犯了两次。老太太气不过要离婚。俩人边吵老头边帮老太太倒水。老头说离婚后还住一起,老太太说但是饭要分开吃。这简直就是花式秀恩爱。。。
2. 老师:现在问题来了。。。小明:学挖掘机那家强?老师:闭嘴!等我说完!有什么东西把名字反过来就是他的用途?比如:牙刷, 刷牙!小明:奶罩!老师:滚出去!
3. 一对结婚50年的夫妇,男的对女的说,咱们重温一下以前青涩的约会吧。定好了时间地点,男的当天买了玫瑰早早的等着,几个小时老婆都没来,回到家后他生气的质问老婆为什么没来,只见他老婆娇羞的说,我妈妈不让我去……
4. 据说马良画了十个太阳,后羿射掉了九个,还有一射歪了,划破天。女娲去补天,补完之后,夸父就去追太阳,死了之后变成两座山,堵在愚公门前,愚公就开始移山,他把多余的土,丢到了海里,不小心把精卫淹死了。精卫为了报仇就填海,填海填过了头,发生了洪水。一个叫大禹的人,就来冶水。可是水太大了,把马良淹死了。这个故事告诉我们人不要太做,no zuo,no die!
5. 一天,小明和小红被教英语的班主任叫去了办公室,班主任说话了:“你们两个,为什么不交作业!”小明说没做,小红说没带,班主任又问:“用英语怎么说!”小明小红会心一看,说:“Nozuo,Nodie……”
6. 一金店遭遇打劫,匪徒手持砍刀威胁一女店员往袋子里装金饰品... 匪徒有些焦急大喊:“猪呀!快点...” 正在这时,女店员突然拿起桌上计算器疯狂向匪徒头上砸去!这一连串猛砸,将匪徒击倒...大家一拥而上,把匪徒制服... 当记者采访那名英勇的女店员时,她的情绪还没有稳定... 记者:“你能讲讲当时你是什么样的心里斗争,英勇的制服了匪徒...” 女店员气冲冲的说:“为了生活,我可以忍!但谁说我胖!我TM就跟谁玩命!”
7. 我对老妈说:“我准备绝食减肥。”老妈紧张的说:“不许,绝食伤身体。”我心里顿时暖暖的:“我会注意的。”老妈依旧摇头:“不行,你现在胖点别人只是认为你吃的多,万一你绝食还胖,这不是怪父母遗传么?不行,多吃点。”
8. 今天和一妹子看完电影,就去开房间。我把她送到房间就自己走了。走到吧台老板说:小伙子为人挺正派啊,才待2分钟就走啊。我以为你不走了呢。我一本正经的说道:现在女孩子一点也不矜持,男的也都抵不住诱惑。像我们这样的太少了。老板一脸敬佩的目光目送我出去了。出去我tm泪流满面。其实老子已经办完事了……
9. 小明:老师这次轮我问你个问题行不?老师:问吧!小明:我买了包糖,给我们学校每人送了一颗,还剩下半包,这是为什么呢?老师:嗯?因为学校放假了,大家都不在学校。小明:不是,因为我买了包白砂糖!老师:滚出去!
10. 嫂子是个外国人,一天她来找我抱怨,你们中国人不是老说男女平等么?我:对啊,嫂子,为啥这样问?嫂子:昨天跟你哥去洗浴中心,我花50,你哥却花了400。……嫂子这事我不懂,你还是问我哥吧。。。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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