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1. 老师问学生,我们国家是个多民族国家,你们知道这些民族有哪些吗。小明:老师,我知道,月光族,啃老族,有车族,房奴族。老师:给我滚,马不停蹄地滚。
2. 我和女友逛街,我看到前方走来一妖艳妹纸,一看不得了,目测一对双峰36D左右,我就这么看着,走过后来了句:好壮观的山峰!结果女友来了句:一看就是苦命的孩子,靠着两座山峰骗吃骗喝,哪像我妈金库充裕,直接给我修了个飞机场......
3. 和老婆当初就是这样认识的,超市买东西,彼此没看见撞到了,她手里的水果就掉了,我帮她捡不小心看见一点胸,她看我目不转睛,怒道:看什么看。我也暴脾气:怎么着,不是没注意还真不想看,那么小,她更怒了:小?老娘36D,你说小,你摸摸小吗?估计是太生气了,真拉着我的手摸,我就熄火了,脸也红了立马道歉说:对不起我说错了,是我的手小了。。。
4. 妻子问老公,为什么结婚时手上带的那个圈圈叫戒指?老公笑了笑回答到:这个问题很邪恶、很邪恶……
5. 有一哥们一向十分节俭,也就是一毛钱掉屎坑里也要打捞几遍的那种人,几个月前才换了新手机,还是按键的诺基亚,今天他跟我说他换苹果6了,以我对他的了解,是打死不相信的了!我说:“不信!”他说:“是真的!”“反正我不信!”“敢不敢打赌?”“赌就赌!”就这样,我输给他100块,后来我问他:“这次怎就舍得换部这么贵的手机了?”“贵点有什么关系?反正也是你们出钱!”
6. “你摸过男生脸吗” “如来神掌” “你牵过男生的手吗” “掰手腕” “你挽过男生的胳膊吗” “过肩摔” “你摸过男生的头吗?”“弹脑嘣”“你和男人贴过额头吗?” “铁头功”“那你跟男生干过偷偷摸摸的事情吗”“考试连作七科弊,那个提心吊胆哎呦卧槽!” 这是一个女汉子的悲伤故事。。。
7. 女儿问老婆:妈妈,什么是小三?老婆答:和已婚男人一起睡的女人是小三。女儿:那我也是小三,我经常和爸爸睡。老婆:一家人的不算。女儿:哦,原来这样,那小姨也不是,她陪爸爸睡还没我多。
8. 一次隔壁班的一个妹子指着图片上的个女的问我认识吗?我看了半天也没认出来。妹子说:你好纯洁啊,苍井空你都不认识。于是我们在一起了。回去后室友们都说我装。。我真的无法辩解。。我真没认出来啊。。穿着衣服我真没认出来啊。。。
9. 朋友和他媳妇看电视。看完优乐美的广告后,他媳妇学女主角问我朋友,我是你的什么,二货朋友直接来了句你是我的加多宝——泄火专用...
10. “我这个人只有两个特点,第一就是很幽默。”“就你这S…还幽默?““第二是喜欢动不动就砍人。”“哈哈哈大哥您真幽默!”
11. 甲:你年薪多少?乙:1000万。甲:那一个月有 80 万多哦!乙:是的,这是基本工资。甲:不错嘛,做什么的?乙:做梦的……

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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