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1. 今天中午坐公交车,一个男的踩到了一个女的脚。女的怒吼:你他妈踩到老娘的脚连屁都不放一个!那个男的淡定的说:踩到你的脚我就不好意思了,怎么还能对你放个屁呢?
2. 今天一个玩的很好的女性朋友突然对我说:我们交往吧。我惊讶道:给个理由!她说:总之我们俩都单着,就试试呗!我一脸不相信的说:拉倒吧,说出你的真实目的!她: 好吧,冬天到了,让你帮我暖被窝。我开心的说到:到夏天怎么办?她:到夏天你就滚蛋!!!
3. 今天在操场看见角落里一男一女亲热,女的长得那叫一个漂亮,男的也十分帅气,真是般配啊!于是我默默的打通了政教处的电话。。。
4. 重阳节那天,我说:“一起去看电影吧?”室友忙摇头道:“不行不行!”我奇怪道:“为啥,平时咱不都一起去看的么?”室友说道:“平时可以,但今天万万不行!重阳节是基佬节,两个男人在这天出行,会被认为是基佬的!”我道:“重阳节不是老人节么,怎么变成基佬节了?”室友解释道:“阴为女,男为阳,重阳就是两男人啊.....”我打断道:“这解释牵强了点吧?”室友继续道:“半点不牵强,要不然,重阳节干吗要赏菊花呢!”我。。。
5. “爸爸,为什么你给自己买了一块劳力士手表却不给我买?” “儿子,你还小,读书的时候你们老师没教你什么叫人大代表吗?”
6. 窗外,雨淅沥沥的下。她双眼望着我,“见家长吧。”我不禁心头一震,这么久了,她是第一次对我说这样的话,我眼泛泪花,有点哽咽,试探问道:“是不是有点早?”她情绪竟然有些激动:“还敢讨价还价!你已经两天没交作业了!叫家长!”
7. 一农妇辛辛苦苦种的玉米地,长得正旺!不料,被甲家的公牛和乙家的母牛发情,在玉米地里乱窜,把玉米给糟蹋了。农妇协商赔偿未果,遂到法院告甲乙。法官判甲乙二人各陪一半,公牛主人甲不服,说:“我最多陪三分之一。”法官问:“为什么?”甲说:“乙家母牛是四只脚踩玉米,我家公牛才两只脚踩。”
8. 前几天发现一同学走路总是一瘸一拐的,问他怎么了他也总是沉默不语。今天忽然见他更新了一条说说:不要让我逮到你!在没灯的洗手间里,把马桶刷放马桶里不拿出来的贱人!!
9. 今天着急出门,忘记抹大宝了,脸上有些皮渣也没注意到。在公交车上,一个小萝莉紧盯着我看,还大声咋呼:妈妈,这个叔叔的脸上为啥会掉皮呢?妈妈说:孩子啊,你不懂,这个叔叔是帅得掉渣了!
10. 最近城区大开挖,儿子问爸爸,为什么那些马路好好的拆了修,修了拆?爸爸说,冰箱里有块肉你把他拿过来。儿子拿过来之后,爸爸说,你把它还放回去,儿子照做,回来问爸爸,爸爸说,你看你手上是不是沾了很多油!
11. 男生皱眉,代表他不高兴,女生皱眉,代表了258种以上复杂的心理活动。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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