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1. 军训时,不远处路过几个超短裙学姐,我们冲教官使眼色。教官无奈的看了下我们:“好了,全体都有,趴下匍匐前进。”我刚趴下,谁知教官一把拉起我说:“这位同学,你这动作不对,站旁边看我给你示范下。”说完就趴下了,留我一人在旁凌乱…
2. 一对男女处对象,但是女方家里信佛,要求男的也必须信佛,女方父母才答应他们在一起。过了一段时间女方父母问:你男朋友信佛信得怎么样了?女的说:黄了。父母:咋滴了?女:他妈的信佛过头了,出家了…出家了…家了…了…了…
3. 和爸妈一起看电视,见电视剧中的主人公抱着他的女儿亲个不停,我便对爸爸说:“你都没这样疼过我!”还没等我爸开口,我妈就说:“你长得有电视上的小丫头好看吗?这么丑,没把你扔掉就不错了!”
4. 坐朋友敞篷跑车去耍,想学电视里面装装B,就双手高举站起来嗨歌,朋友在旁边吼了一句:“还是坐下来吧,腋毛都被吹成中分了!” 友尽。。。
5. 晚上和一学姐去看电影,看完十一点了。她回不了宿舍,我阴笑着对她说:哈哈,回不了宿舍了吧。她低下头羞涩的说:嗯。然后我笑的更开心了:我能回去,哈哈…
6. 上课了英语老师:“问动词后面是什么词?”小明火速回答:“打词,动词打词,动磁大磁……动磁大磁……苍茫的天涯是我的爱…………”老师:给我滚出去,马上,速度。。。
7. 昨天室友淘宝上买一件衣服,卖家说上图好评立马返现五元,于是室友穿上衣服自信美美的拍了五张照片。。。今天卖家给朋友返现了十元,叫室友把图片给删了。。。
8. 记者问开保时捷的青年:请问你为什么会开着豪车来摆摊呢?青年:我呢,是想体验生活,锻炼自己的能力,增加社会阅历。记者莞尔,说:说人话。青年又说:不装逼怎么上电视?
9. 今天单位消防知识讲座,消防支队的人说前些日子去救火,一个女的最后关头抱着个电脑冲了出来,消防员很生气问她:你不要命了,钱重要命重要?命都没了要电脑干什么!女人很委屈说自己是公司会计,电脑里很多数据很重要。消防员一听更急了,尼玛数据重要你抱主机啊,你tm抱个显示器干啥?
10. 小时候爸妈没空管我,一直是爷爷奶奶看着我,每天接送我上幼儿园。结果有一天放学了一直没人来接我。我抱着幼儿园的大铁门一直坐到天快黑。突然看到爸爸妈妈散步到这里。妈妈还指着我,对爸爸说“你看这孩子真像咱儿子!”
11. 在美国,红牛因为一句广告词‘喝红牛给你翅膀’而被告!因为喝了红牛没有长出翅膀,最后陪消费者1千多万美元。这要是放在中国我第一个就告卖老婆饼的,为什么吃老婆饼没老婆。。。。。
12. 老天是公平的,虽然你长的丑,但是你想的美啊!

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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