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郑国有个人想买鞋,他量好脚的尺码后直奔鞋店,
但到了鞋店他一摸口袋:“哎呀我给忘了!”于是急忙回家。
有人拉住他笑道:“为什么不直接用你的脚去试穿呢?
你宁愿相信尺码也不相信自己的脚,不觉得太死板了吗?人一定要学会灵活变通!”
郑国人:“成语故事都是骗人的!你能放手吗?我是忘了带钱。”

新兵外出拉练,一新兵瞅见路边一个穿制服的肩膀上六颗星,
心中一惊六颗星啊,啪的一下一个立正军礼,以示敬意。
排长跑过来拦住:“别敬啊,那是物业!下次记得敬城管!”

其实老师也不是好干的,今天去学校给五年级代课,学生们特别喜欢我!
下课的时候学生们要我联系方式,我就把QQ号写道黑板上了。
突然一男学生站起来喊我:“老公!”。
我问她:“你说什么?”
她说:“我是你CF上的媳妇啊!”
我去,以后这学校是不能来了!

正在开会,年近四十很古板的主任在说一个很严肃的话题,
突然响起了一阵手机铃声,很妖娆妩媚的女声:“恩公,看看奴家的信息嘛~”
正想着是谁触了霉头,只看见主任很淡定的拿出了手机,顿时天雷滚滚……

小时候,经常有邻居对我说:我把女儿嫁给你,好不好?
我那时候不懂,总是好好好地答应。
如今大了,你们倒是把女儿送过来啊!哥单身很多年就是在等你们!

一新郎结婚,发表感言:“感谢政府,
感谢交通部门的支持,要不是你们让交通如此之堵,
我也不会在堵车之际找到如此貌美如花的老婆!”

男:“做完饭,把我这些衣服洗了。”
女:“怎么,家里的活都让我一个人干?”
男:“你不干谁干?”
女:“结婚前你不是说我是你的小天使吗?”
男:“对的,天使就是天天使唤嘛。”

一个刚刚当上奶爸的人如此说道:“哄孩子睡觉,就像打BOSS,
各种技能用尽,眼看胜利在望,结果一个动作没跟上,
BOSS复活…一切重新来过…”

甲:“我家只有我和太太两人,任何时候都采取表决方式,总是不分上下,
不过从最近开始,我投票时总是失败。”
乙:“为什么?”
甲:“她怀孕了,算两票。”

入住酒店房间烟味太重,打给前台,
前台说:“您稍等我们来给您做无烟处理”
我心想现在科技好发达!
五分钟后来了个大叔,打开我房间所有窗户,然后走了……

好激动,吊丝要逆袭了!
今天我暗恋的女神跑过来说:“给你听首歌!”
我俩还一人一只耳机听了,她还问我:“有没有听过?好不好听?”
我开心的说:“很好听!”,
这不大半夜还单曲循环听着她给我听的《我不会喜欢你》……

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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