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1.本人是一个大公司人事部经理,昨天一个小姑娘来面试。
问:“你们要女秘书吗?”我:“我们倒是很愿意录用您,小姐。可是眼下经济危机,没活干。”
姑娘:“有没有活干我倒不计较,只要有工资就行!”

2.网吧里,进来一位女子,一番张望,来到一个男孩旁边
拎起男孩的耳朵就骂:“你不是去老师家里补课了吗?”
男孩一边护着耳朵, 一边盯着显示屏大叫:“爸爸,有人打我!”
男子大怒:“在哪儿,我来收拾他!” 不料,女子又来到他身边
拎起他的耳朵,骂道:“你不是去加班了吗?”

3.女:有公寓吗?有雅阁吗?男:没。女:我有事先走了。
男:我有别墅,为啥要住公寓?开奔驰,难道要换成日本车?
女回眸一笑,相亲继续。男:我创业把别墅、车子全抵押了。
女:先走了。男:还好拿到基金,公司上市了。女:你好坏,老逗人家!
穿白大褂的医生进来:小子,快回去吃药。

4.一天和同事出去吃早餐,同事点了担担面,加鸡蛋
面盛上来后同事没看到鸡蛋便问:“我的蛋呢?”
服务员很自然的回答道:“在下面”

5.高中时住校,宿舍熄灯后就不准外出了。
晚上肚子饿总会派个宿舍代表翻墙出去买泡面当夜宵。
一日,一同学出去很久都没有回来,直到半夜这货才鼻青脸肿的敲门。
一问原来不知道那个缺德的把围墙下阴沟盖给移走了,这货翻墙进来直接掉沟里摔晕过去了

6.老师在期中考时只考了一题申论题:什么是勇气?
一同学交卷了只有五个字:这就是勇气!
老师∶“小兔仔子给我过来,我有两道题目问你,你若答出第一题,就可以不必回答第二题。”
老师∶“你的头发有几根?” 同学:“一亿两千万三千六百零一根。”
老师∶“你怎么知道?” 同学∶“这一题不用回答。”

7.女朋友:老公,同学约我逛街,快给我点钱。
男朋友:是不是拿着钱跟别的男人出去鬼混。
女朋友摆S型,嗲声:你也太小看我了吧,如果是跟男人出去,我还需要带钱么。

8.老公:媳妇对不起我把你新买的自行车撞散架了!
媳妇:没事宝贝,你若安好便是晴天!
老公:媳妇你太有诗意了。
媳妇:滚他妈犊子,安不好老娘整死你。。。。。

9.王先生出差买了只乌龟,上飞机时不让带。
他急中生智,把乌龟装入裤裆上了飞机。
坐稳后又害怕乌龟憋死,就解开拉链把乌龟的头放了出来,空姐从边上过,一直扭着头看。
王先生说:看看,看什么看。没有见过?
空姐红着脸说,这东西我见多了,不过像你这长眼睛的还真是第一次见

10.去同事家玩,我是她儿子的干爹。
正聊天,小屁孩趴在卫生间的门下面对我招手道:干爹,快过来看。
我奇怪问他:看什么?他又悄悄的朝我招手:你过来嘛,干爹。
我疑惑地走过去,顺着他的意思趴下,
他说:“干爹,你快看里面,我妈妈在洗澡,把衣服全部都脱光了,快看快看!

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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