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1. 语文课上老师说:诸葛亮上知天文下知地理,精通奇门八卦,阅读的各种书籍无数。小明:老师,有本书他肯定没看过!老师:哦,你说说是什么书?小明:《三国演义》!
2. 今天去找哥们玩,从窗外看见他坐在床上,双腿盘缠着,双手护于脚掌。宝相庄严,异常专注,时不时还低下头做深呼吸。心想这是在练瑜伽吧!?开门进去一看,尼玛,在抠脚……
3. 虎牢关下,三英战吕布。战前,刘、关、张依次摆出了剪刀手,吕布大笑:“哈哈哈哈,真TM傻!”刘备怒道:“你懂个屁啦!人家这叫英雄连萌!”
4. 一二货买了只会学人说话的鹦鹉,回到家后就开始显摆!二货说:你好!鹦鹉学着也说:你好!二货又说:你吃饭了吗?鹦鹉也学道:你吃饭了吗?二货听话甚是高兴吖!然后接着说到:我很帅!鹦鹉也学道:我很帅!二货又说道:我会飞!结果鹦鹉说道:你丫的吹牛逼……
5. 今天跟同事聊生女儿什么好,各种讨论。只听见角落悠悠的来了句:不好抱的时候自己抱,好抱的时候被别人抱走了!!!瞬间鸦雀无声........
6. 老婆,你说当年我老丈人是咋想的,怎么给你取名林莎碧?看上去挺文学的,叫出来就不雅了。别人两口子都只叫名,那样显得亲热,我必须得叫你的全名称,否则别人还以为我骂你……
7. 跟一女性朋友聊天,她说她太丑了,没有男人会喜欢她。为了安慰她,我说:“起码你身材很好阿!好多男人喜欢你这样的身材。”女的说:“狗屁,长得丑,男人连脱衣服的兴趣都没有了!”多么痛的领悟阿。。。
8. 肚子饿了,打算切肉炒菜,不小心切到手,血滴到猪肉上,被一旁的弟弟看见了。然后他说了一句:姐,你在滴血认亲吗?这小兔崽子,看我不打死你。
9. 抱闺女下楼晒太阳,一女的抱了小狗,问我闺女多大,我说三个多月了,她冲着怀里的狗说:“哎呀!你比她大耶,她是妹妹哦。”我不悦但忍了一把,然后她又对狗说:“你看看是你漂亮还是妹妹漂亮?”我怒!但笑着问她:“你是顺产还是剖腹产啊?”她愣了一下,然后怒气冲冲的抱着狗走了…
10. 同事被提拔为经理后沾沾自喜,逢人就吹嘘。一位朋友不屑地说:“屁大个官,还真当回事儿了,现在连卖馒头的都有经理。”同事不信,便打电话到馒头铺:“请你们店里的经理接电话。”接电话的人问:“请问,你找的是白面馒头经理,还是杂粮馒头经理?”

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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