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在外打工，每回给妈妈打电话妈妈都会问钱够不够用啊，每回我都说够，有一回实在没钱了，便回答妈妈说不够，没钱了，我妈很平静的说，哦，不够你自己想办法吧。。。。。
曾经做过春梦，发财梦，恶梦，都没事，就昨晚，梦到自己破解了一个宿舍周围的wifi，居然笑醒了
调查表明，在某个特殊的年龄阶段某种特殊的状态下的子女是不适合陪父母一起看电视的。比如LZ，就连看个战争片老爸都得唠叨：人家打仗那么苦都能恋个爱，你咋就不成呢！
第一次发～早上赶地铁，好不容易抢到个位置～过了两站上来一个女子～我看肚子凸起并且她一只手撑着腰，我就站起来给她让座～然后她说了句：不是，那个我只是早上吃多了～吃多了～多了～了～
今天驾校两个互不认识的学员打架了。原因是其中一个手机没电，随便借了另一个学车的手机给女朋友打电话。电话拨出去显示的是微信约炮女。。。。你说这是多大的缘分啊
刚才听二货老婆和11岁的闺女说:"小宝，你长大以后去南方工作吧，东北太冷了，即使你学习不好找不着工作，以拣破烂为生，也要去南方城市拣破烂。"闺女：为啥呀？老婆很坚定的说：“那边天气热，矿泉水瓶子拣得多！”
昨天晚上我们寝室老大正跟一妞打电话，那妞在电话里问他，月亮下去了，太阳怎么还不出来。老大不理解，就问我们，老七沉思半天，过会说，我知道了，这妞想告诉你，我月经都走了，你怎么还不来日。。。寝室沸腾了。。
一天去朋友家玩，她家有一一岁的儿子，MM准备给他喂奶，因为她儿子每次都不好好喝，朋友就跟她老公说你过来假装跟他抢，然后她儿子好心急的趴在上面吃起来，结果他爸说了句:谁跟你抢啊，你都是吃我吃剩下的！
LZ一二货大学室友，平时花钱挺节约 的，每月都计划着花，月底的时候，不 知怎的，卡上还剩98块。自动取款机又 只能取100，于是这货就去银行柜台排 队。人山人海啊，终于轮到他了，他激 动的对柜员说：终于到我了，我存2块。 。。。我擦，你就不能说取98吗？
都说工资像大姨妈，一个月一次，一个礼拜就没了，可是我都已经四个月没发工资了，我这是怀孕了么？
在露天广场等永川到重庆的火车，天上下着小雨挺冷的，看着期盼已久的火车终于缓缓进站，不由心生感慨，脑袋一抽就说了句：“哇塞，火车”。旁边一老太婆特不屑的眼神说了句：“看着挺出息的小伙子，火车都没见过。”我，，，
记得那啥时候，菲律宾不是和中国在挣么。那时候我朋友和他爸在家里电视新闻，看到一半他问一句:“爸，你说中国打菲律宾是什么情况？”他爸扫了他一眼，淡淡的说了一句:“中国打菲律宾，就跟老子打你样的！”
小学写作文，主题是做饭此为背景割一割老师提问作文的三要素是什么（时间，地点，人物），点到二货同桌同桌憨憨地答道：香油，味精，葱花
最近喜欢上一妹子，感觉挺合适，性格好，上的了厅堂，下的了厨房，卖的了萌，装的了汉子，就是有一点不好，她不喜欢我T^T
在厕所拉翔，打扫厕所的大爷用水管冲厕所顺便把我屁股也冲了……大爷你真好T_T
一女同学，毕业出来找工作，那天去一家大公司面试，好像是百来人竞争一个职位，路上突然下大雨，她刚好没带雨伞，结果到那里全身湿透。面试后没一星期就通知去上班了。她说她应该是真诚感动了面试官。我望着她的D杯想象着她全身湿透的样子。也许这就是现实吧
在同事家4岁萌宝贝依依（女孩），朋友问：依依，你美不美呀？依依答：美~~朋友又问：你哪最美呀？萌依依思考了一会~依依爸偷偷在旁边指着胸口（其实他想表达的是心灵）。萌依依高兴答到：“我的咪咪最美！”当时我就笑趴了。。。
四六级考前。一个女生拿着一个收音机边听边走。信号不好，一直呲呲呲的响。旁边的男生来了句:你快别听了。不知道的还以为你漏气了呢！！。。楼主没崩住笑出了声。瞪我干嘛，我可是很纯洁的。。
前天看到我姐在教训我6岁的外甥女，你怎么这么笨，这都不会。外甥女说，都怪奶奶，都怪奶奶，给我洗头的时候把水弄我耳朵里了，脑子进水了。。。进水了。。。
刚路过一家超市，一只被主人牵着的萨摩耶在超市门口停下，汪了一声。
几秒后一只小黑猫出现了，萨摩耶低头，猫仰头，彼此鼻子碰了下鼻子……
随后猫傲娇地转身回屋了，萨摩耶吐着舌头开开心心地继续溜街去了。
路人表示不可思议，狗主人解释：这S……每天都非要绕路来这跟它打个招呼，真烦！
我已被萌哭……
一男子包养两个情人，怕老婆发现遂把二人名字改成“QQ”和“微信”。
老婆从娘家回来之后问老公最近都干什么了，并让老公发誓说不许撒谎。
老公淡淡的说“也没干什么，就是没事的时候上上QQ玩玩微信”
我想说大哥你赢了。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
