Login:
Password:

Forgot password Register

Article


6
   
Report


今天发工资了,好激动啊!
哥们:发了多少啊?
我:发了9000多。
哥们:卧槽,行啊,兄弟混的不错,以后我跟你混了。
我:半年的工资,等的快疯了,你来吧。
哥们:卧槽!滚!

去一家单位面试,简历上面把自己吹的怎么怎么好,面试时候也把自己说的很厉害的样子!
第二天,人事打电话说你通过了,我们单位,就需要你这种不要脸的年轻人!

晚上公司加班,正巧电脑出了点问题,急得不行,让哥们远程协助给解决下。
等他开始弄,我就去上厕所去了,回来的时候看我位置那里人声鼎沸的。
挤进去一看,爱情动作片正激烈呢!
尼玛B,谁让你远程上老子电脑看片的!你开门,老子保证不打死你!

一朋友的父亲大寿,去订了个蛋糕,说好蛋糕上写“祝二老身体健康 ”
取回家打开一看就怒了!蛋糕上赫然写到“祝老二身体健康”。

你以为土豪的日子就好过吗?
我一个朋友,家里有钱的远近闻名。
一次他去我们市下面的一个县城考察项目,路过超市买水看上了售货员,觉得自己找到了真爱。
然后就开始了疯狂的追求。
结果姑娘死活不同意,我们就有朋友过去找她问为什么。
她说:家条件那么好,人长得也不差,非要和我谈恋爱,他肯定是有病。

1、“哪一种写作最赚钱?”
“勒索信。”
2、“医生,请问傲娇这病怎么治?”
“哼,你以为我会告诉你吗”
3、A:“刚看到新闻上说,有个14岁的女孩打赌说自己能一年之内和100个男人发生X关系。”
B:“天啊,这个社会太让我感到悲哀了!!!她还是个孩子啊,竟然赌博!!!”
4、观音对唐僧道:“你这一去,要走上十万八千里,途经九九八十一难方能抵达西天、取得真经。”
唐僧双手合十道:“阿弥陀佛,剧透死全家。”
5、西兰花说:“我像一棵小树”;
香菇说:“我像把小伞”;
核桃说:“我像大脑”;
香蕉说:“我们换个话题吧?”
6、出租车上广播电台里说:今晚气温可能会降至零下三度,如果怕冷可以去钻墙角,因为墙角有90度;如果还冷可以去躺地上,因为地面有180度;如果还冷可以自转一周·,因为那就有360度了;如果还是冷可以去众里寻他;因为众里寻他千百度。

外甥女幼儿园大班了,今天在我面前炫耀她的数学好。
我问她:一只鸭子一岁了,它有两条腿,请问5年后这只鸭子有几条腿?
外甥女掰开手指数了数,很认真的告诉我:10条…
嗯,数学确实学的不错!!!

夏天那会儿,逛商场的时候偶遇一小孩在哭着到处找妈妈, 营业员问他为什么不牵着妈妈的裙子,小孩说,裙子太短,牵不到……

儿子刚上学,现在小学的作业很多,放学的时候我问:儿子今天有作业吗?
儿子:有。。
我:什么作业?。。
儿子:这我哪知道,黑板上都是字我又不认识!

女儿5岁,一天,女儿和邻居怀孕5个月的阿姨聊天——
邻居:猜猜阿姨肚子里的宝宝是男孩还是女孩?
女儿:当然是女孩喽。
邻居:为什么啊?
女儿:因为女的生女孩,男的生男孩。
邻居:你是谁生出来的呀?
女儿:我妈妈生的。
邻居:那你爸爸是谁生出来的呀?
女儿:我奶奶生的。
邻居:你不是说女的生女孩吗?
女儿:……我奶奶生错了!



Previous article:
9.29 (11 years ago)

Next article:
10.1 (11 years ago)

ESim
or
Register for free:
Only letters, numbers, underscore and space are allowed (A-Z,a-z,0-9,_,' ')
Show more

By clicking 'Sign Up!', you agree to the Rules and that you have read the Privacy Policy.

About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


| Terms of Service | Privacy policy | Support | Alpha | Luxia | Primera | Secura | Suna | Vexa | Sora | e-Sim: Countryballs Country Game
PLAY ON