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1.我休假回来一看,我家来过小偷,但什么也没丢
-- 真是不幸中的小幸
-- 可是我突然产生一种屈辱感

2.有没有听过撞菜的,隔不来,今天有一二货同事跟我带了一样的菜,青椒肉丝,蚂蚁上树,他热饭的时候被我看到了,本着糗百精神,我把手按到他的饭盒上,喊了声复制,再把手放到自己饭盒上喊了声粘贴,接着打开饭盒吃饭,二货同事从我吃饭就开始缠着我,要学习这个技能,都一个小时了,谁来救救我

3,今天想起高中神一样的数学老师的一句话:我最亲爱的同学们,人有两个功能,1是光宗耀祖,2是传宗接代你们第一个功能已经基本宣告破产了,还是回家生娃去吧

4.今天回家时,看到个4-5 岁的小孩在玩滑板车,手里拿着奶茶,一下没站好,摔了几米远,然后飞快的爬起来捡起掉落的香飘飘奶茶喝了几口,喝完就哭了,吃货的世界你永远不懂

5.午休结束,一小孩因为睡不够,被老师叫醒,哼哼唧唧发脾气,老师也不理他,直接倒了一杯水递给他喝,这厮胆也太肥了竟然把水杯摔了,崩溃大哭说,为什么每天要上学,为什么每天要吃饭,为什么每天要喝水?我长大以后要变成怪兽,要破坏地球,把你们都消灭了

6.昨天晚上和朋友开车出去玩,结果开在半路这货说要下车去买水,我在车上等,去了十多分钟他猛着拼命的跑回来,后面跟着两条狗拼命的吠,这货一上车就把车启动了,我以为他被吓得要撞死那两条狗,结果他把远光灯打开了,拼命的闪:妈的劳资亮瞎你们的狗眼

7.下班坐公交车,这是背景---不能割还得用---有个私家车挡在了公交车前面,磨磨蹭蹭的,也不快开,司机师傅绕过此车时,说出了技惊四座的话语,拉一个女的就得得瑟瑟的,都不知道咋开了,我特么拉一车女的也没那样啊啊~~

8.刚在小饭店吃饭,来了个开车的小伙,找到老板说,老板商量点事,有一大生意想跟你合作,老板问,什么意思,小伙道来32份炒面打包,我去,真是大生意

9.今天下楼看到新来的小保安买了好多吃的给门口一个乞讨的老大爷,看老大爷不肯收,保安说我有钱你就收下吧,老大爷悠然的说到,看你人实在,别干保安了,没前途,跟我要饭吧,保管你吃想的喝辣的,我看了看自己手里的馒头,好想说大爷也带我一个吧

10.lz大学生,刚才上课看一男同学面向窗外神色忧桑,问其何故,答曰:常想起儿时玩过家家,想当年哥也是有老婆的人啊!!!真是吊的一手好丝!

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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