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1.今天在洗头，隔壁床上的一少妇，在给洗头小妹讲生孩子如何如何的的疼，洗头小妹听后说：“那里那么小，平时放根黄瓜都疼，何况生个那么大的孩子！”一说完整个店都没声音了！
2.上高中的时候开运动会，百米赛跑，运动员都在热身，突然啪的一声枪响了，有一个运动员以掩耳不及盗铃之势冲了出去，那起跑相当完美，绝对压枪出去的。三秒之后，听见广播里说，那位同学，请你不要再跑了，赶快回去，我们在试枪。。。
3.婚前去菜市场买菜，胡乱的拿一把菜问老板多少钱。从不问多少钱一斤。婚后去买菜都要问这问那，买个辣椒都要一个一个的选。有木有……
4.昨天我和老公讨论到马航这事，我们得出一个结论，为什么马航今年飞机老出事呢，因为今年是马年，马航的本命年，之所以飞机老往下掉，因为马航的飞机没穿红裤衩。..
5.班里有好多女同学在睡觉 我是不是应该干点什么。是的该干点什么 于是我把门窗关了放了个屁然后走出教室默默把门反锁了。
6.今天晚上就我一个人在饭桌子上面吃的饭，屋头其他人全部坐在沙发上边吃边看一部泰国剧……我婆婆爷爷看得最入迷……我爷爷94，婆婆85
7.男友二货一枚，上次跟他买葡萄，老板在旁边叽叽喳喳＂这个是马陆葡萄，这个好吃，马陆葡萄，嘉定的名牌产品＂（ps：马陆葡萄相对比较贵）二货受不了了，对着老板来了一句＂我知道啊，你放在马路边上的，肯定是马陆（路）葡萄嘛＂老板瞬间石化
8.成龙大哥到了拘留室，看到自己儿子，二话不说上去啪啪啪就是一顿打。 大哥的功夫你知道的，几个警察愣是没拦住，话都插不上，打了足足十分钟，最后一脚踹到角落里，嚯～足足踹飞5米远，这时另一个角落里传来一声:爸！你打张默干什么？
9.今天公司新来了个少妇，午休的时候突然想起来看到的糗百，就问她你知道李白的家人都有谁吗？她竟然回答说 是赵香炉和紫嫣，日 照香炉 生 紫烟嘛。我开始憧憬我以后该怎么跟她相处了
10.又到开学季，我和小伙伴在一起吃饭。各种吃的都涨价了，背景交代完毕。我说，在这个物价飞涨的时代，还有啥子没长？小伙伴回了句，我的身高。三秒后，我默默回了句，还有你的胸。声音不大，刚好一桌人听见了～
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
