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I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs
Due to
electric failure
Mr.Bean:
Ya me too
I was stuck on ESCALATOR
for 5 hrs
جک مستربین
از زمانی که برق رفت من تو آسانسور 3 ساعت
گیرکردم.
.
مستربین:
من هم همین طور!!
من 5 ساعت رو پله برقی
گیرکردم.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(husband
& Wife )
husband: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I
will live with my sister.
Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
husband:
No I will also live with your sister
( زن و شوهر )شوهر : بعد از
این که من بمیرم آیا ازدواج می کنی؟
زن : نه من با خواهرم زندگی می
کنم...
زن : بعد از مرگ من تو ازدواج خواهی کرد؟
شوهر : نه من هم با
خواهرت , زندگی می کنم.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Future plans of
childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan:
I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b
a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.
شغل آینده بچه
ها:
معلم از دانش آموزان پرسید که می خواهید در آینده چکاره شوید؟
ادنان
: من می خواهم خلبان بشم.
واکیل : من میخوام دکتر بشم.
بینا : من می
خوام مادری خوب بشم.
شریک : من میخوام به بینا کمک کنم.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
An
Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The
Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your
back!
سوال هواپیما از موشک :
یه هواپیما از یه موشک می پرسه که :
چطوری
می تونی این قدر سریع پرواز کنی؟
موشک جواب میده : اگه تو , پشتت آتیش
میزاشتن میدونستی که چقدر درد داره....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Difference b/w secretary & private
secretary
Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private
secretary?
Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private
secretary says ITS MORNING SIR
تفاوت منشی و منشی خیلی خوب
سوال
: اگه گفتی تفاوت منشی و منشی خیلی خوب چیه ؟
جواب:
منشی میگه : صبح
بخیر رئیس..
&
منشی خیلی خوب میگه : صبح شده رئیس!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Hi i am marrying next
week ( Funny sms )
Hi i am marrying next week
there will be a
small party and
only few persons will be invited
Hey don’t bring
any gift
just bring SOMEONE to marry me.
سلام من هفته ی دیگه
ازدواج می کنم!!! ( اس ام اس خنده دار )
سلام من هفته ی دیگه ازدواج می
کنم.
یه جشن کوچیک هم میگیریم.
تعداد کمی هم دعوت کردم.
با خودت
هدیه ای نیاری!!!
فقط یه نفر رو بیار باهاش ازدواج کنم.
** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Marriage is like a
public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those
inside are desperate to come
ازدواج مثل توالت عمومی میمونه!!
بیرون
هر دو تا باشی دوست داری واردش بشی!!!
&
واردشون که شدی
دوست داری هر چه سریعتر از اون خارج بشی!!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a
vehicle
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further
M0ral:
always
Keep a SPARE TYRE
,
زن و شوهر مثل دو تایر از یه وسیله ی
نقلیه هستند.
اگر یکیشون پنچر بشه اون وسیله دیگه حرکت نمی کنه
نتیجه
اخلاقی :
همیشه یه لاستیک زاپاس همراه داشته باش!!!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
TEACHER:
what is the
different between
problem and challenge????
STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..
,
معلم
:
فرق بین مشکل و رقابت کردن چیه؟
دانش آموز :
3 پسر
+ 1 دختر = مشکل
1 پسر + 3 دختر = رقابت.......
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
1: Look a thief has entered
our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
2: Whom should I
call now,
Police or Ambulance?
اولی : بیا نگاه کن یه دزد وارد
آشپزخونه شده و داره کیکی که پخته بودم رو میخوره!!!
دومی : خوب
باید پلیس رو صدا کنم یا آمبولانسو!!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
,
چند تا جوک انگلیسی جوك انگلیسی با
ترجمه لغات مشكل مطالب انگلیسی جالب طتز انگلیسی با ترجمه مرتبط با جوک
انگلیسی چند تا جوك انگلیسی خنده دار جك انگلیسی با معنی جوك انگلیسی با
معنی فارسی جك خندار انگلیسی لطیفه انگلیسی با ترجمه فارسی
1. , , ,
Smart man + smart woman = romance
2. , , , Smart man + dumb woman =
pregnancy
3. , , , Dumb man + smart woman = affair
4. , , ,
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
5. , , , Smart boss + smart
employee = profit
6. , , , Smart boss + dumb employee = production
7. , , ,
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
8. , , , Dumb boss + dumb
employee = overtime
) ریاضیات ازدواج
1- , , , , , مرد باهوش +
زن باهوش = داستان عاشقانه
2- , , , , , , مرد باهوش + زن خنگ = رابطه ی
....
3- , , , , , مرد خنگ + زن باهوش = عشقبازی
4- , , , , , مرد خنگ +
زن خنگ = ازدواج
5- , , , , , ریئس زرنگ + کارگر زرنگ = سوددهی
6- , , , , ,
ریئس زرنگ + کارگر خنگ = تولید بیشتر
7- , , , , , رئیس خنگ + کارگر
باهوش = پیشرفت کارگر
8- , , , , , رئیس خنگ + کارگر خنگ = اضافه کاری
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
2) kiss me
every time
Diana, one evening, drew her husband's attention to
the couple next door and said, 'Do you see that couple? How devoted they
are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?'
'I
would love to do that,' replied Diana's husband, 'but the problem
is..........she won't let me.'
2 ) مرا هر روز ببوس
در
یک بعد از ظهر دیانا توجه شوهرش را به زوج همسایه جلب کرد و گفت : آیا اون
زن و شوهر رو می بینی؟ چگونه به هم علاقه مند هستند؟ شوهره هر روز زنه رو
وقتی می بینه می بوسه! تو چرا این کارو نمی کنی؟
شوهر دیانا جواب می
ده : من خیلی دوست دارم این کارو بکنم ، اما یه مسئله ای هست ....... اون
به من اجازه نمی ده این کارو بکنم....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
3) why women are beautiful
'God,'
inquired Adam, 'Why did you make Eve so beautiful?'
'So you would
love her.'
'But why did you make her so dumb?'
'So she
would love you.'
3 ) چرا زن ها خوشگل هستند؟
آدم از خدا
می پرسه که : چرا حوا رو خوشگل آفریدی؟
خدا جواب میده : چون تو
دوستش داشته باشی ....
آدم میگه : چرا زن ها این قدر کودن هستند؟
خدا
جواب میده : برای اینکه عاشق تو بشند!!!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
American: In our country ,
marriage
even takes place with email.
Hindi : In India, it is only with a
female
آمریکایی : در کشور ما ازدواج ها با ایمیل صورت میگیره!!!
هندی
: در هند ، فقط با زن ها ازدواج می کنند!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A lady want to see a tarot reader woman
who’ll predict her future.
- , , , , , , Leady , I’m sorry to inform
you that your husband will die in the near future .
- , , , , , , Don’t
tell me things that I already know , tell me if there would be an
investigation.
یه خانومی میره پیش زن پیش گو تا از آینده اش مطلع
بشه.
- , , , , , , , , , دخترم متاسفم که این خبرو بهت میدم ، شوهرت به زودی
میمیره!!
- , , , , , , , , , خانومه میگه : اینو خودم هم میدونستم ، فقط
بگو گیر میفتم یا نه!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tcher while lecturing , noticed a student sleeping at the
back.
Tcher shouts 2 hs neighbor : “ wake him up!”
Neighbor
yells : “U put him 2 sleep , so U wake him up.”
معلم هنگام درس
دادن متوجه یه دانش آموزی میشه که خوابیده بوده.
معلم به بغل دستیش
میگه : "اونو از خواب بیدار کن"
اونم میگه : "شما اونو خواب کردین
خودتون هم بیدارش کنین"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not
much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
پدر : پسرم ،
برای روز تولدت چی میخوای؟
پسر : چیز زیادی نمیخوام ، فقط یه رادیو که
اطرافش ماشین اسپورت باشه!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
