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昨天真的旷工了,都怪dane那个桑哦服碧池

1.LZ今天在公交车上看到一年轻孕妇和一美女(估计是闺蜜)
孕妇:自从怀孕后,我就超爱吃辣的
美女:酸儿辣女,肯定是女孩
孕妇:那我从现在开始硬吃酸的,会不会生男孩……
美女:不会,顶多是个女汉子……

2.死党跟我说请用一首歌形容他。我说:“嗯…好汉歌!”
他:“为什么?”
我:“嘿呀,你二呀,哎嘿哎嘿,你二呀!”
他:……

3.乌鸦妈妈生病了,小乌鸦看着病床上妈妈憔悴的模样,心疼得大哭:“妈妈,你快点好起来,千万不要离开我呀!”
妈妈感动地说:“乖孩子,你如果不是乌鸦嘴该多好啊…”乌鸦妈妈,卒。

4.“有传言称:浙江一本线617出来后西湖边停了7条救生船,还拉了横幅:高考不是唯一的出路。”

5.“问:为什么中国乒乓很强大?答:因为国人面对困难善于推和挡;
问:为什么中国跳水是梦之队?答:因为他们是股民;
问:为什么中国射击成绩好?答:因为大家习惯睁只眼闭只眼;
问:为什么中国举重成绩好?答:因为国人承受着生命不能承受之重!”

6.对于那些经常忘东西的人来说,要离开某个地方的时候,记住四个字,“伸手要钱”。伸——身份证;手——手机;要——钥匙;钱——钱包。

7.二货朋友在朋友圈说:最讨厌吃西瓜,每次削皮都得花上一个多小时,真麻烦
。下面一堆回复:傻了吧唧,西瓜得带皮吃/S……西瓜要水煮过才好吃/不蘸酱油你们吃得下?/怎么回事、西瓜不是只吃皮么?/西瓜不都是炒着吃的吗。还能生吃?

8.冬天:能穿多少穿多少;夏天:能穿多少穿多少
再一次发现了汉语的强大

9.成都爱情故事:一个平凡的下午五点半,失恋多日的他接到了她的电话。 「我在双流机场,还有两小时起飞,你如果来了,我就不走。」 她终于决定在去美国之前给他最后的机会。 他放下工作,冲出大厦, 坚定地说道:「我爱你。等我。」 两小时后,她飞走了…他还堵在人民南路上。

10.假如有一天12星座一起吃饭,情境一定是这样的:
双子给大家讲奇遇吹牛b,隔壁桌有人叫板。狮子大吼一声,白羊掀了桌子冲过去,双鱼哇的一声吓哭了,巨蟹抱住她安慰,天秤打圆场,处女站的远远地,水瓶醉了在边上跳脱衣舞,金牛苦着脸算要赔多少钱,射手在一边发微博,摩羯不耐烦地看手表, 天蝎漠然走到那人背后随手捅了一刀。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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