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1.记得有一回在某城市出差,出火车站一黑车哥们跟在我身后:坐车不?像往常那样,我无视他径直往前走,他居然没有像其他人那样自动离去,一直跟着我不断重复那句:坐车不?几百米之后我觉得很不好意思,对他说:兄弟你何苦呢,看不出来我不想坐车吗?他气喘吁吁地说:你做不做没关系,你就说声不坐不就完了吗?不听见你明确回复,我总会觉得是自己努力不够啊。

2.公路上两小车发生轻微摩擦,双方车主因斗气吵嘴,越吵越凶!旁边一杀马特还在煽风点火:“打啊!打他呀!吵个毛啊!能动手就别动口!"于是,路边的人都看到两车主走过去把那杀马特狠抽了一顿!各自开车走了……

3.我:“其实广场大妈也挺不不容易的,跳大半天没没人给口水喝,没人给个板凳做。”
警察:“这就是你往楼下泼十盆水,七个板凳的原因?”

4.今天在公交车上听到一男一女两人的对话,笑喷了。。。
那男的问女的“你觉得我长得丑不丑呀?”,女的没好气的说“你应该问你的女朋友去。”,“可我没有女朋友呀。”,“那你还不知道你自己丑不丑呀???”,只见那男的脸都紫了。。。

5.晨练跑步,不知谁家二货哈士奇跟我一起跑,我跑快,它跑快,我跑慢,他跑慢,还用鄙视的眼神看我,我艹,我一生气,就猛跑一公里,结果它还在我前面,我眼前一黑,现在在医院点滴。。我恨哈士奇!!!

6.小学一年级的事,班主任在隔壁办公室锁着门午休……割了更精彩……大夏天只穿背心裤衩,帐篷支的高高的。LZ和同学路过很好奇,同学说不会是老鼠吧(会动),于是,LZ捡来一根细长的竹子,隔着窗户对着帐篷一竹子抽过去,然后全校师生都被杀猪声吵醒了……!班主任现在已经是老家小学校长了

7.我准备了一桶水,半桶冰,摆放好摄像头,喝了点酒壮胆,抽了根烟定了定神,一切准备工作就绪后,接下来我要做的,就是帮助熟睡的同学完成冰桶挑战。哈哈哈哈。。。

8.今天在公交车上,旁边一女孩电话响了,一接电话叫妈,lz不小心瞄到手机屏幕显示是“养猪小能手”,妹子,你这让我。。。。。。

9.楼主女,21,刚刚我妈妈打电话过来了,用商量的口气跟我说你介不介意家里多一个人吃饭?我说不介意,(因为之前好像说表妹要到我们这边工作,会暂住我们家),然后我妈又问那你介不介意偶尔有人和你吵架?我说不介意,我妈接着问:那你介不介意以后爸妈不止疼你一个?我被问烦了,“妈,我真的不介意,她要来就让来,我都这么大的人了”。然后我妈说:“好吧,你在七个月后会有个弟弟或者妹妹,今天我去检查身体,发现我怀孕了。。。”妈咪,我被你吓得发糗百手都在抖。。。。。。

10.出火车站的时候我才知道原来我有这么多粉丝,他们如此的关心我。我一出站他们就簇拥在我身边对我嘘寒问暖,他们大体是这样说的“帅哥,要住宿吗?”“帅哥,去哪?要打车吗?”“帅哥要小妹吗?”“发票,要不要发票?”

11.儿子十一个月,背景。今晚好不容易挨到儿子睡熟了,和老婆开始行动,正要进入主题,二货儿子突然一头爬起来,用朦胧的眼神看了我们三秒钟....LZ吓一跳,瞬间软了....

12.就现在,我操你妹的老坛酸菜来一桶!有调料,没叉子!让我怎么吃?尼玛,我还在火车上,对面的妹子,咱能不笑吗??心中万头草泥马奔腾而过,关键是我怎么破,怎么破。。。

13.有一年我外甥女放假到我家玩,那时大概六七岁吧~~~~~~~~~~~~~我想哄她玩,就找了喜羊羊给她看,结果她嘴一撇说:“太幼稚了!”我永远忘不了当时她那轻蔑的眼神…

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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