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1.今天看老妈玩神庙逃亡。在那大喊大叫,好像她就要随时摔死。然后她对身边的姥爷说,爸,我教你玩这个吧,特刺激。我姥爷转过头,一本正经的对老妈说:我嗓子不行!

2.去医院产检,排在我前面一对夫妻,男的急切的问医生:大夫她现在七个多月还可以同房吗?
当时一听医生抬头看看男的说不行。并且语气很严肃,当时我也觉得这男人怎么这样,媳妇都怀孕七个多月还想这样!
gc是男的立马对媳妇说:你听见了吗,医生也说不行!!你听见了吗!!!!

3.本人91年的,记得小时候看泰罗奥特曼。。。割。。。有一次和别人打架,打不过人家,喊了一声:泰罗变身!!结果那孩子撒腿就跑,边跑边骂:马勒戈壁,有种别变身!

4.同事聚餐一男同事喝醉了,我们送他回家。到了家门口,只见他蹬了两下门,门铃按得很急,里面一女的问谁啊,他吼了一下:是朕,是朕回来了。只见那女的开了门后说:哟,原来是皇上回来了!我们同事几个那个佩服啊!看到他安全到家我们就扭头走了,然后背后传来一声"太后吉祥!"

5.有一次,我们军训,教官和我们开玩笑说:对面女生是什么?班里一奇葩男同学答:恐龙战队。顿时笑声一片。教官又问道:我们是什么?那奇葩男答:反恐精英。当时我和小伙伴们都惊呆了~

6.LZ老婆怀孕了。。。。先割几个月。。。。LZ没事在家喜欢玩几把LOL,老婆看不下去嫌我不陪她说:“你就玩吧,就当给你未来儿子胎教了,别人家孩子出生都是哭一嗓子,你家儿子出来就喊 德玛西亚!”

7.刚理发,。,没得割,,一六七岁小男孩坐我旁边,声音脆生的对理发师一再要求理的酷一点,好让班上人眼羡,旁边人就问他:你有女朋友了没?他不做声。我单刀直入:你有几个女朋友?他小声说:两个。周围人一下笑开来,一女的问:怎么才两个呀?小孩叹了一口气:太多了我养不起啊…

8.CNT。。。第一次带男友回家,到家之前提醒他我爸好酒,让他悠着点,结果那二货经不住我爸的好话忽悠,一不小心喝高了就分不清东南西北,追着喊着:媳妇,来……大爷亲一个。。。。我爸妈脸都绿了

9.讲我的二货女朋友,昨天她哭得打来电话说她眼睁睁地看着她家小母狗被一只外面的公狗强x了,她想赶走公狗,又怕被咬…后来…后来她家小母狗倒是很惬意的回来了,她还是难过了一晚上

10.多年后,你若已娶,而我未嫁;最好让你妈看好你爸!…

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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