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1、一个心仪已久女汉子(短发)对我 说”哥,待我长发及腰,娶我可好?”,我 苦笑了一下说:”好啊!可要等到猴年马 月?”,突然女汉子从包里掏出来一个假 发套子套在头上,还用力甩了甩,我的眼 睛湿润了,这就特么是我想要的爱情!

2、去澡堂洗澡,新买的搓澡巾太硬了,稍微使点劲就好疼,搓两下感觉屁股都搓脱皮了。回来就在床上趴着,老婆看到问我:“怎么了?”我说:“屁股好疼。”她一脸惊诧说:“怎么?你去澡堂捡肥皂啦?”

3、我家母狗发情,一闺蜜开玩笑说:“丢根木棍给它会不会缓解一下?”另一闺蜜神回复:“有些事儿,请不要站在自己的角度看问题好吗?”

4、我是女朋友倒追的,她,长的漂亮,很漂亮,,,,,,,,,,可她抽烟比我厉害,喝酒比我猛,酒量比我好,还会打网游,再看我呢,不会打网游,酒量不好,会做饭,会洗衣,一想到结婚后,她蹲在椅子上,嘴里叼根烟,桌上放个啤酒瓶,打着网络游戏,我在厨房切着菜,,,,,不敢想了,,,越想越想哭

5、小区放了四个垃圾筒,大力推广垃圾分类,大家踊跃学习分类并且实践,感觉人民的素质正在日益提升!!!后来来了一辆垃圾车把四筒垃圾全倒上,拉着就走了。。。

6、女友至今没有耳洞,今日问我要不要去打?我说“你不是怕疼不打麽?”她说:“我朋友说了,不打耳洞的话,结婚的时候少件首饰!!”

7、天桥准备买个耳机, 问老板:“这耳机多钱?”卖耳机的热情地说:“小伙子好眼光,这个诺基亚国产原装正品,原价350,零售价160,批发价120,亲情价60,小伙子看你人很实在8块钱卖你了。”

8、问了下女朋友的初吻给谁了,她却害羞的说到:小学那会班里面一男生特好看,班上的女生都喜欢他,后来那男生说亲一口两元钱,看班上女生很多都亲了,我也没忍住,花了两元钱。。。没忍住。。。。

9、刚刚在地铁上,一个妹纸突然大叫:“盯住我胸看什么看下三滥样!”然后所有的人望过来,一男子满头大汗,一脸尴尬,被他朋友拉开理我不远处。只听他朋友说:“你盯她做什么啊?又不漂亮,又不丰满!”
那男的委屈的说,很少见到穿那么低胸都没有一丁点沟的,我想再找找。

10、我女朋友哪都好,就是路痴,这么多年了还没找到我。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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