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嫦娥将天蓬调戏他的事告到了玉帝处。玉帝问太白金星:“天蓬此举该如何处置?”太白金星 答:“知法犯法,按律当诛。”玉帝有些惋惜地点了点头:“唉……当猪就当猪吧。”

开学典礼上,校长发表演讲:“孩子们,知识是大海,是大江。我们学习知识,就像拿一把小小的勺子,在大江大海里舀水一样……”
突然,人群中传来一个失望的声音:“完了!我妈妈给我带的是叉子。”

石阶问佛像:“我们都是石头,凭什么你受人膜拜我却遭人践踏?”佛像嗤笑道:“你只挨了四刀就成了石阶,我却挨了千刀万剐才有现今模样。想成功就要经历磨难啊!”过了几天,石阶带了个同伴又找到佛像:“这是我表亲,砧板,你也给他说道说道。”佛像:“……”

苍鹰给苍蝇打电话:“我在翱翔。你在干嘛?”“我也在熬。”苍蝇说着看了一眼蹲在厕所的人。

村子旁边的森林里住着一头怪兽,常常跑到村子里为非作歹,村子里没有人能打败它,怪兽每星期都到村子里抓一个处女作为食物。有一天,一位勇士来到村庄,决心杀死怪兽,为民除害。后来,怪兽饿死了……这个故事告诉我们,不要挑食……

有个放羊娃给村里放羊,一天他喊“狼吃羊来了!”村民听到后马上上山去救他,结果没有狼都生气的走了。隔天放羊娃故伎重演,村民来了还是啥都没有。几天后,放羊娃又大喊“狼吃羊来了!”村民觉得他又在说谎,没有上山,于是放羊娃先烧了一锅水,然后高兴的拿出了金针菇,茼蒿,虾滑,宽粉,海带……

有一个基督徒在森林里碰到了狮子,狮子就狂追要吃他,基督徒走投无之际,跪在地上大声祈求:〃主啊!请你感化这只狮子,使它成为基督徒吧!〃 没想到狮子应声跪倒在地上,大声说:〃感谢上帝赐给我丰盛的食物,阿门!

马小虎考完微积分去洗澡,没戴眼镜。一进澡堂就看一人高马大的哥们在脱衣服,马小虎一看,那哥们双手臂、肚皮上都刺满了纹身。没敢多看,到隔间开洗。一分钟后,那哥们过来借沐浴露,小虎仔细一看,不淡定了……这哪是纹身?全特么是公式……

在飞机上,空中小姐用和谐悦耳的声音对旅客说道:“请把烟灭掉,把安全带系好。”
所有的旅客都按照空中小姐的吩咐做了。
过了5分钟,空中小姐用比前次还优美的声音说道:“再把安全带系紧一点吧,很不幸,我们的飞机上忘了带食品。”。

一天某网吧大概夜里12点多,学校领导来查夜不归宿的,网吧的人大都被逮了。只有一个哥们躲过去了。这货在校领导进网吧的时候,默默地去墙角拿了把扫把在那扫地……

有个朋友告诉大叔他不信鬼神。
大叔问他:“你在全国任何一个网吧、食堂、教室或者公交车上有没有遇到过这么一件灵异的事:明明是空座位,你要上去坐的时候旁边有人就会告诉你‘这座位有人’?”
朋友:“……阿弥陀佛”
昨天听儿子背书,听成了“孔子东游,见两小儿便日……”
大一新生竞选班长,一吊丝上去就来了一句:“我干了12年班长……”本来教室很平静,第一排一更吊丝的说了一句:“哥们好体力啊!”之后教室的气氛就不能控制了……
农夫在田中种了很多西瓜,常被附近的小孩偷吃。农夫很懊恼,于是想到一个办法,在田中伫立一块告示牌,写着:“这里的西瓜有一个有毒!”当晚,小鬼们来到 西瓜地,看到告示牌便一轰而散。隔日,农夫看到西瓜依旧安然无恙,便沾沾自喜。不妙却发现告示牌多了一行:现在有2个了……
出门逛街,发现一店铺里挂满了各式各样的衣服,门口玻璃上贴着:开店大酬宾,高档西服30元/套,衬衫5元/件……心中莫名高兴:这么好的事情终于被我赶上了!于是急着往里冲,就在抬头进门的一瞬间傻眼了:干洗店!
机丢了,急忙用朋友的手机打过去,很客气地问:“你好,您是不是刚捡到个手机?”
接电话的直接回答:“什么捡的,我刚偷的!嘟……嘟……嘟……”

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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