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1 讲个工地的。绝对真事。。。一天施工队一群 人在办公室休息,然后进来了一个人给大家分 烟,分到一半烟不够了,他说,谁借我电动车 我去买烟,一哥们真借了。。。然后他骑走车 就再也没回来。。。一问才知道根本没人认识 他。。这i智商实在太高了。。高智商犯罪呀。 哈哈
2今天去幼儿园接儿子,发现他看着一个女孩在 吃糖葫芦 哈喇子都到地上了!我问儿子想要 吗?想要爸爸给你买、这时儿子犹豫了半天艰 难的抬起头说 爸爸你可考虑好了、贩卖儿童是 犯法的?
3 晚上食堂吃饭。旁边一大妈擦桌子时发现有张 学生证,她伸出手掌摸了摸桌子上的剩汤汤 碗,表情凝重缓缓道:“汤还是热的,失主一定 还未走远!”然后抓起学生证,一边叫着失主名 字一边朝食堂门口冲去。

2\女:你在想什么?
男:昨天Miss Chen说,人类的祖先先是用树叶遮羞的。
女:是啊。肿么了?
男:那秋天一到,树叶落了,可肿么办捏?3

3\今天客户来银行取钱,坐下一句话说的我石化了:“你好,我死期到了。”

4\前些天感觉胸口很闷,就去看了医生。
医生看着我的X片,皱着眉头对我说:“你以后要少抽点烟了。”
虽然有些疑惑,但我还是听从了医生的建议,回来后我就买了几包烟,开始学习抽烟了。

5\今天听到一个很励志的故事。
一位少年,连续五年报公务员培训班,参加考试落榜,终于在第六年...
他去培训班当老师了。
我顿时有了奋斗的尽头。

某地大桥坍塌了。次日食品卫生管理局局长宣布辞职。
记者问:桥垮了应该道路桥梁管理局负责啊,您为什么要引咎辞职?
局长答:我昨晚上才知道本地的桥梁属于豆制品,归我管。

中学聚会,女生相互调侃着自己的容貌身材。
微胖的小丽对小枫说:你看我身材怎么样?
小枫打量了一下说:还好。
小丽紧了一眉头说:你骗我,我男朋友说我没有腰。
小枫一听,接话道:胡说!这么粗的腰还说没腰。

过节了,主人把猪、牛、羊、鸡、鸭、鹅等召集到厨房里,和蔼地问:“你们喜欢怎样被人吃掉呢?”动物们都不说话。过了一会,公鸡小心翼翼地说:“我想?”主人说:“不要害怕,想说啥就说啥!”公鸡说:“其实,我们不想被吃掉!”主人打断公鸡的话:“你看你,说着说着就跑题了!”

买了一袋橘子还没来得及吃,室友不打招呼便剥开往嘴里放,我好心提醒:“橘子不要吃太多,容易上火!”
他不以为然:“没事。”
说完伸手又要去拿,全没有停下来的意思。“你特么还没完了,是吗?”
失去耐心的我抄起板凳朝他扔去,“老子跟你说了吃橘子容易让人上火,容易让人上火,你偏不信,Cao!”

真的对不起,我的洁癖实在是太严重了,那天我在酒吧看到一个姑娘身上太脏了,便强行把她拖到我家给她洗了个澡。事实经过就是这样的,审判长。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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