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父亲最近发现上小学的儿子早恋了! 于是决定找儿子好好谈谈。 父亲:“儿子,你才上小学四年级怎么就早恋呢?” 儿子无奈地说道:“现在不下手,难道等校长下了手我才下手吗?”

小时候酷爱游泳 虽然姿势有点对不起党 但还算是会游。一天心血来潮 跑到深水池里 游得正欢 突然 水花四溅 救生员跳下水 边把我往岸上拉边吼:”我CNM的!不会游就别在深水区游!!”楼主一脸无奈 嘴里小声嘟囔着:”我会游…””游你大爷的游!有见过游泳游得跟溺水一样的吗!!”

从网吧门口过,正赶上警察检查未成年人上网,几个青年被带出来盘查。警察问其中一个小平头:什么职业? 小平头回答:法师。……祝你好运……

A:“你听说过安利吗?”
B:“安利?就是那个类似传销的东西?我有一朋友被炕了几十万,上次有个人向我推销被我打残了,兄弟你问这个干嘛?”
A:“没,没什么……”

我高中同桌是女生,名字叫冠雄,一次她爸带她到公司,遇到同事,就介绍说这是我女儿冠雄,那位叔叔哈哈大笑,一边捶她爸的背一边说,原来是女儿啊,哈哈哈哈,我一直以为冠雄是个男的,啊哈哈…我同桌很不高兴,就问她爸,这人是谁啊。她爸说哦,这就是我常给你说的丁香…

有一次去农行,MD银行柜员跟我欠他钱似的,态度极其恶劣,排了号还有人可以随便插队,没人管,于是我找到了意见本,想狠狠参她们一笔,但是翻看第一页,看到有人硬生生用指甲抠出几个字印:意见本好歹给只笔吧。

晚上和老公出去遛弯,说到黑丝的问题,由于我比较黑,也比较瘦,
平时只穿肉色丝袜,老公说“以后你也穿个黑丝”
我说“我要穿了你怎么办”
他说“我会疯狂把你丝袜扒光,然后大喊一声,怎么还有一双”
我一顿狂抽...

在湖南上大学夏天都直接地铺,早上叫那哥们起床。那货一直按着大腿外侧的裤衩说我里有东西,昨天晚上钻进去懒得起就一直按着,我们一致断定是蟑螂。然后我们一脸惊恐的看见那货从裤衩里拿出一只闷死的老鼠!
。。。。。。。。

小学自然课。老师很凶。教我们使用酒精灯。大家都知道酒精灯熄灭是要用灯帽的。为了安全起见老师反复演示好多遍。最后让同学到讲台操作。当老师把酒精灯点着之后让该同学熄灭时。神奇的一刻发生了只见他深深的吸了一口气。刚要用嘴吹的时候。老师一脚把他踹出去了

交易大厅碰到一名女孩,她说:那会的股市有点像羊痿的老公,抛弃他吧,有点舍不得;厮守吧,天天受气。好吃好喝服侍他,期望他能冒点阳气,刚看他勃起,衣服还没脱完,他已不行了。要害是你刚穿了衣服筹备去偷情,他又在后边拉着你说,有反馈了,有反馈了,你再等等!!

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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