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1.两地分居中……
女友喜欢在打电话的时候故意娇喘、恩恩啊啊的逗我,早已习惯……
昨天晚上她又在逗我,叫得正嗨的时候,电话里传来一声男人的深沉的哼声,然后电话断线……
哎,要电话问候下她吗?
2.
背景1:5月1号搬进新房。
背景2:最近苏州天气渐冷。
背景3:昨晚加班。
。。。劣质的窗帘伤不起。。。
昨天到十点才下班,从小区主干道勿忙转身进入单元口时,彻底被雷倒了,一个女人身影在卫生间隔着一层只能算说是纱吧,灯火通明(开着浴霸)地搔首弄肢的淋浴。。。全“果”啊!悲催的是,在我愣了数秒后,发现那是我家!!我刚娶回不到三个月的小娘子啊。。。
劣质的窗帘伤不起
3.收到一快递,到付。高高兴兴付钱一看,结婚请帖!能打个白条寄回去吗?我也选到付
4.刚去开领导的门扭头跟人说着话伸手去开门,接着门开了我的手握着领导的秘书咪咪还拧了一下,秘书凌乱了,领导凌乱了,我也凌乱了…
5.LZ办公室助理一名,最近迷上古装电视剧。
-----------------------都焦了还是割了吧------------------------------------
正在办公室跟同事聊电视剧情节聊得热火朝天,董事长突然驾到……
见到董事长必须先行礼哇,LZ一激动一紧张各种奔放各种澎湃的脱口而出:皇上……皇……上……
一办公室人被我瞬间秒杀……
颜面泪奔ing
6.用你老婆的手机给你所有的哥们发条短信“我有了”...有人会回“恭喜哈,嫂子”...有人会回“我X,你那天不是安全期么?”...
7.一句话 导员抓逃课在我后面看了整整一局的dota
8.早上听广播,是个医药咨询栏目,一位妇女听众打电话进去问:“我不小心把避孕药当感冒药给我们家孩子吃了”,没等听众说完,广播里的专家就说:“一定要注意下不为例啊”
听众:“不是啊,我想说的是我们家孩子是6岁时候吃的,现在26岁了,结婚都两年了,还没怀上呢,是不是跟6岁时吃错避孕药有关呢?”
9.对面103岁的老太太来我家串门,给我讲了个冷笑话:哎呀!还不如去年找人嫁了呢,省自己闺女(他女儿81了)一直唠叨.......
10.一句话不割 今天坐公车 售票员报站,下一站,海淀黄庄。购买文凭和盗版游戏软件的乘客,请提前做好准备。。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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