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我：学姐，借我1000块钱！
学姐：怎么从我借钱阿！
我：你肯定很有钱阿！
学姐：为什么？
我：女大三，抱金砖阿！
学姐：...滚！
2.昨晚一个妹子来我寝室一起看悲惨世界，文艺小清新的气氛，口渴我伸手去拿上面书架的杯子，碰到那包抽纸巾了，直接掉下来，估计是砸到了pagup，然后电脑华丽的变成了昨晚转室友的爱尺有沙，尼玛正在咬啊有不有，我半起身状态凝固了，然后妹子幽幽的来一句：它是提醒你到撸的时间了么。。。。妹子你的节操呢
3.一同学读医的，现在已经在医院实习，今天在群里炫耀说：”以后你们有空就到医院来找我。。。” 宿友看到此话，回：”呀，好巧，我在殡仪馆当化妆师，有空可以过来找我化妆。。。”
4.三位高富帅比谁有钱，一个说：我经常开宝马和我爸飙车。另一个说：我家佣人全是泰国的。最后一个说：每次中国队比赛，我都赌中国赢。另外两个无奈说：好吧，你有钱！
5.楼主女，姓巩，二货老公姓张，结婚后讨论要宝宝的事儿。。说到起名字，楼主说一定要起个好写好听又好记的，二货老公突然很欢乐的说:老婆要不咱孩子叫张工资吧，里面有你的姓也有我的姓，意头还好！！！真想一口盐汽水喷死他。
6.讲个刚发生的：一个背书包的萝莉在门镜外大喊：“爸爸开门！我回来了...”无奈只好开门，小萝莉退后几步，警惕的说：“你怎么在我家？你把我妈妈怎么了？”这是我家啊啊我家！现在的孩子怎么了...
7.老爸老妈在家吵架了……因为我昨天中午吃完了老爸炒的菜，老妈炒的菜剩了一半
8.楼主苦逼农业局小公务员，刚才接到一个电话，声称是农业部什么部门，下周要派2个人来我们单位，打了2次都被我果断挂掉了。。。。结果竟然是真的，现在我们领导打电话在解释。
9.一姐们更新了个性签名：出门别老让男生付钱，你不知道父母都是穷养儿富养女啊，他们零花钱哪有我们多啊？都是打肿脸充胖子，请你吃一顿他们一个月都别想吃肉！后来发现转发了她这条说说的男的都静静的躺在她黑名单里…
10.昨晚和朋友在大排档吃饭，朋友整的有点高，，，朋友小解，，看到路边一大车躲在后面就嘘了起来，，这不是GC，，..GC是那个车子缓缓的走了，，对，是走了，，留我朋友一个人在风中，，尼玛，，周围男男女女全是人啊，，表示不认识他！
11.“反正没人认识我”。这想法能让你的人生多干80％的蠢事。
12.一哥们名字李天，昵称天啊！一次大伙一起出去玩，路遇一恶狗对其狂吠不止，无视我们！天一边摸砖头，一边自语道:难道这就是哮天犬！额，，，哮天！
13.今天，去超市买东西，在结账时后面有个女的，说她赶时间叫我帮她一起结账，她买了一提纸告诉我 9.9元，说给我10元，钱给我她就提着纸要走，我马上叫住她说：美女我有零钱我找你一毛嘛！她回头说不用了我赶时间。当收营员把发票给我后。才发现那提纸18.5元。
14.幼师走起，刚开学时发现班上有一男孩长的很萌，另一个男孩每天一早来就粘着这男孩，吃饭要一起，上课要一起，一个星期后，突然不粘他了，他妈妈来告诉我说，原来他发现萌小子是男孩子～
15.昨天老板发慈悲开车带我们去烧烤。今天好运气。路上见一蚂蚱跳到挡风玻璃上，估计停了几分钟就又跳走了。这时，老板说，tmd坐车也不给钱，真无耻。。。我们一车人都在想这是说谁呢？
16.昨日中午在单位食堂吃饭，我坐在桌子旁唯一的凳子上，随后来了五名美女同事站着吃，以此为背景。
我感慨说自己如同皇上用膳，旁边有众爱妃作陪，然后其中一女同事指着刚刚站到我旁边的男同事问我：那他是什么？。。。。男同事瞬间石化！
17.人体生理最后一节课，老湿让学生讲课。
然后一男生讲课趁机用多媒体PPT向一女生表白。
坑爹的是那女生没来上课，你以为这是结果？
更坑的是老湿来了句:“那位女同学呢，站出来表示下”
然后那女同学就被记旷课了……
18.本人摄影师，刚注册的，第一次发帖，分享一个以前拍照的趣事，一天拍一套婚纱照，在拍外景，我让男士把他媳妇抱起来，他媳妇穿一条小短裙，可能男的抱得方式不对，我看见了女的内内，依稀记得是黑色的，我迟迟端着相机不动，女的可能发觉了，喊到:走光了，走光了，让摄影师全看到了！！我瞬间脸绿了！！！坑爹呀，爹才23岁，一生清白毁了，旁边还有化妆师和助理！！！
19.姐今天穿了件黑色九分裤，一同事打招呼说几天没见瘦了哈，姐骄傲滴过说腿一直这么瘦#^_^#，那货说“对，像老母鸡，腿细”………腰粗……
20.本人妹纸，发个高中时候的、教师节班里组织送老师礼物、男老师居多……我们几个课代表就商量好送男老师小瓶装的酒、因为很可爱、结果回去仔细看一下说明书、居然是壮阳酒、现在每每教师节、楼主都会想起送给老师那瓶酒的时候其他老师强忍着不笑的表情、和我们老师尴尬到无地自容的局面、楼主送过去就窜了、现在深深表示、当初不该陷老师于不顾是多么的不应该啊，学生在这给您道歉了、
21.发个老公妹夫的 晚上十一点多左右，他骑着摩托车回家，在转弯的时候没注意 对着一个吉普车就撞上去，完事他怕吉普车司机找他麻烦，直接躺在地上装死，吉普车司机下来一看没气儿了，四周又没人，一个油门就跑了，然后他妹夫就起来说，操 吓死你爹了！！
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
