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1.lz妹纸一枚……再说个考六级的，匆忙跑到考场发现收音机电池木有带！问前面不认识的男生有木有带备用的，谁知这货直接把他的电池扔给我，趴桌上睡觉去了，一睡就睡到四点半交卷的时候，出了考场我问他来干嘛的，他华丽丽的说，上帝派我来给你送电池的……
2.LZ一81年的哥们，单身理科男，老婆帮忙给他介绍了一个90年的女孩（背景完毕）。两个人相处了差不多一个月，一天和老婆跟这哥们一起吃饭，问他感觉怎么样，他说:都还好，就是小了点。我刚想说这年代年龄根本不是事，老婆抢先来了一句:没事，揉揉就大了！ -_-||
3.儿子两岁半，每晚九点乖乖的自己上床睡觉，，，，咯咯，，，今天老公非要哄儿子睡觉，讲了一个故事后又唱起了歌，突然儿子回过头严肃地说：＂别吵了，我要睡觉了＂
4.学校的老师给我妹说打电话说她那上一年级的儿子在学校拉裤子了，在厕所里等她拿裤子去换。孩子他爸拿裤子赶到学校在厕所没找到孩子，正好是课间时间，到操场一看，找到了。好家伙，这孩子光着两条腿，裆间挂着个塑料袋子，还是黑色的，腰里用根绳子系着，跟同学玩的正嗨呢，这是有多耐不住寂寞啊！
5.小侄子让蜜蜂给蛰了头上起一个疙瘩，正准备去把蜂窝消灭掉的时候小侄子说不用去了已经有兄弟替他报仇了。我问他结果，他说心里平衡了，兄弟们都哭着回来了！！！
6.LZ去厦门旅游，导游带去个叫大登岛小商品市场的地方，下车的时候叮嘱我们，买东西千万不要出价，我没当回事。咯咯咯………，下车遇到个买名表的，我随便看了下，看到有个挺好看，就问多钱，人家说三万一，我说太贵了，他问我多钱要，我随口说要一百块我就能买起了，然后他说，好吧，一百给你，交个朋友……。卧槽啊，我去年买了个表
7.妹纸大学刚刚毕业，在家待几天，去高中母校看看，结果被一个高中老师当做学生问我为啥逃课，回到家中各种兴奋，跟我妈妈说我是不是长得嫩，我妈淡淡来一句，你不是长得嫩，而是穿的土……穿的土……
8.一个二货宅男朋友，有段时间跟他一住。。。标准割一下。。。住没几天我就崩溃了。他的手机起床闹钟是早上5:00一次，5:30一次，6:00一次，6:30一次，7:00一次，，，直到他7点半他起床。后来问他为什么这样折腾，他说，闹钟一响看一下，关掉，想想还有两个小时可以睡，很高兴，，，很高兴，，，
9.记得毕业的时候吃散伙饭，喝的差不多的时候，我们去女生那边跟她们喝酒，轮到我跟我一直暗恋的美女喝酒，我拿起酒杯二话没说干了，我说:我干了，你随意，谁知道姐们羞涩来了一句:我醉了，你随意。。随意。。
10.割了小黄瓜--------大学宿舍那会，舍友女朋友来找他。一夜激情之后回来就喊累。我们调侃他＂不行啊，以后这方面困难找兄弟我帮忙＂他怒了吼到＂老子便宜黄瓜也不便宜你！＂突然宿舍神宅男从上铺幽幽来了句＂你怎么知道我小名叫黄瓜
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
