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Pelje Vergil Danteja skozi pekel. Spustita se navzdol in prideta do privezanih duš, nabodenih na kole.
Dante: Kaj so le storili, da tako trpijo?
Vergil: To so morilci in posiljevalci. Nabodeni plačajo za svoje grehe.
Gresta dalje v naslednji krog in prideta do ubogih privezanih na kamne, kjer jim vrane kljuvajo jetra.
Dante: Kaj pa tile?
Vergil: Tile so izdali Božjo skrivnost
V naslednjem krogu naletita na jezero polno gnoja v katerem plavajo neprivezane duše.
Dante: Olala, tile pa niso niti privezani, niti ograjeni. Kako to?
Zakaj pa te duše ne pobegnejo?
Vergil: To pa so Slovenci. Vsakič, ko kateri zeli priplezati iz dreka, ga drugi takoj nazaj potegnejo!
Po 4,5 mesecih dobi njegova žena otroka.
On začuden: "To ne štima, poročena sva šele 4 in pol mesece, pa si že rodila!"
Ona: "Kaj ne štima? Jaz 4 in pol mesece, ti 4 in pol mesece - to je 9
mesecev, to pomeni da štima!!!"
On: "Aha, štima."
Po 2 letih rodi žena črnega otroka.
On spet: "To ne štima!"
Ona: "Kaj spet ne štima?"
On: "Midva sva belca, a rodila si crnčka?!"
Ona: "Otroka sva naredila ponoči. Če si hotel imeti belega, bi ga morala podnevi."
On: "Aja, mhm, torej štima."
Nekega dne se on zbudi in zagleda na koncu postelje izpod odeje gledati 6 nog.
On njej: "To ne štima!"
Ona: "Kaj spet ne štima?"
On: " Poglej, izpod najine odeje strli sest nog!"
Ona: "Ti si pa res smotan! Vstani in preštej noge od zunaj!"
On ven iz postelje: "1 - 2 - 3 - 4. Ja, ja, vse štima ....
Gorenjcu Janezu je bila zelo všeč tuja filmska igralka. Kupil je njen
poster in ga prilepil na zid. Nekega popoldne se je zavalil v fotelj, si
nalil kozarec radenske in užival gledajoč poster. Nenadoma se je zdrznil in
si rekel: "Hudiča, tako ne gre več naprej! Ne smem vsega kar imam zapraviti za ženske
in pijačo."
Pride 90 letnik k zdravniku na pregled.
Doktor ga vpraša: "Kako se počutite?"
"Nikoli nisem bil boljše volje!", odgovori ata, "moja ljubica ima 18 let.
Zdaj je noseča in bova dobila otroka."
Doktor malo pomisli in reče: "Dovolite, da vam povem eno zgodbico: Lovec, ki nikoli ni izpustil lovske sezone, je nekega dne tako neučakano odšel od doma, da se je zmotil in namesto puške vzel dežnik. Ko je prišel v gozd, se pojavi pred njim en velik medved. Lovec dvigne dežnik, nameri v medveda in ustreli ... Gotovo ne uganete, kaj se je zgodilo? Medved je mrtev padel pred njega!"
"Nemogoče! Nekdo drug je moral streljati!"
"Ravno to sem vam hotel povedati!!"
Par objet po dobrem seksu spokojno leži v postelji, ko zazvoni mobilnik.
Ženska se oglasi, posluša, in nato reče: "Že v redu. Adijo."
On: "Kdo je pa bil?"
"Moj mož. Pravi, da je pri tebi, da igrata karte in da bo pozen."
Lep pozdrav !
Mož in žena sta se na 40. obletnico poroke
skregala.
Mož ji reče : "Ko boš umrla, ti bom dal na
nagrobnik napisati - Tu leži
moja žena - mrzla kot vedno."
Žena mu odgovori: "Ko boš ti umrl ti bom napisala -
Tu leži moj mož -
končno trd."
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Zakonski par je imel šest otrok. Mož je bil na to
tako ponosen, da je
ženo začel klicati Mati šestih, četudi je ona temu
nasprotovala.
Nekega večera sta bila na zabavi in je mož želel
vprašati ženo, če bi
šla domov, zato je na ves glas zavpil : "Ali greva
domov, Mati šestih?".
Ona, vsa jezna, mu odgovori : "Kadarkoli želiš, Oče
štirih!"
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Mož, zdravnik, in žena sta se skregala pri zajtrku.
On, ves besen,
vstane in odide in ji spotoma zabrusi:
"in v postelji si tudi zanič!".
Po nekaj časa se je umiril in se želel opravičiti,
zato jo je poklical.
Dolgo časa je zvonilo, ko žena končno dvigne
telefon.
"Kje si bila tako dolgo?"
"V postelji".
"In kaj si delala tako pozno v postelji?"
"Iskala sem drugo mnenje!"
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Mamica tako sem žalostna, noseča sem,"pravi hčerka.
"Kje si pa imela glavo, smrklja neumna!!"
"Pod volanom!!!"
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> Poslovneža se pogovarjata.
Prvi: "Se ti med seksom kaj pogovarjaš z ženo?"
Drugi: " Ne, mobitel dobim šele naslednji teden!"
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. Its creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
