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Uvijek budi optimista.
Kada padneš niz stepenice ti brzo ustani i kaži ''kako sam brzo sišao''.

Šetaju momak i djevojka gradom.
ON: "Uvuci taj stomak, pocet ce ljudi da mi cestitaju"

"Jednom se zivi, zar ne?"
Rece gimnazijalac i slomi kredu.

Uslika sise napise opis oči
Da i ja uslikam guzicu a napisem opis valovita frizura

Čuo Perica od školskog druga da svi odrasli imaju tajne, a najbolji način da se od njih izvuče novac jeste da se kaže:
- "Znam pravu istinu", čak i kad nije tako. Naravno, Perica odluči da odmah isproba taj recept kod kuće, i obrati se mami:
- "Znam pravu istinu." Ona mu odmah da 500 dinara i kaže:
- "Ni reči o ovome tvom ocu!" Zadovoljan lakom zaradom, Perica dočeka oca ispred kuće i ponovi:
- "Znam pravu istinu." Otac brzo izvadi 1.000, uz uslov, samo ni reči o ovome mami. Ohrabren, Perica pokuša isti plan i s baštovanom:
- "znam pravu istinu", Kad baštovan padne na kolena, širom raširi ruke i reče:
- "Sine! Pa zagrli tatu!"

Takmičili se Englez, Francuz i Crnogorac.Kaže Englez :
-kad ja viknem sa Big Bena živela Engleska to se čuje još 15 minuta.
Kaže Francuz :
- kad ja viknem sa Ajfelovog tornja živela Francuska to se čuje još 30 minuta.Ču to Crnogorac pogladi brk pa kaže:
- kad ja viknem s brda ljudi ajmo raditi još mjesec dana odjekuje ,,Ne seri Milutine, ne seri''.

Dolazi Mujo Hasi i pita ga:Šta to čitaš?
Čitam logiku.
A šta je logika?
Pa evo ovako.
Haso:Imas li ti Akvarijum
Mujo:Imam
Haso:To znači da imas ribice?
Mujoa
Haso:Znači da voliš životinje?
Mujpa znači
Haso:To znači da volis i ljude?
Mujoa da.
Haso:To znači da voliš žene?
Mujoa da.
Haso:E to ti je logika.
Haso:Odo ja malo prošetat evo tebi čitaj malo.
Dolazi jedan čovjek i pita Muju.
Sta to čitas?
Mujo:Logiku.
Covjek:Šta je to logika?
Mujo:Imas li akvarijum?
Covjek:Ne
Mujo:Marš Pederu jedan!!!

Radio mucavac na autobuskoj stanici u Tuzli i preko razglasa najavljuje autobus za Split:
- Aaaautobbbus zzzzza Ssssplit ppprrrekko Ssssarajevvvva, Kkkkkonjnjnjica, Jjjjabbbblaniccce, Mmmmostttarrra i Mmmakkkrske, oooootišo pppprije ppppppp-šest minuta.

Pita Fata Muju:
- Mujo imali ikakve šanse da ove godine idemo na ljetovanje?
Odgovori Mujo:
- 40% idemo a 100% ne idemo!

Kako se zove crnogorski narkoman?
- Smrčo

Dosao mujo u radnju i kaze prodavaocu:
- daj mi kiselu vodu.
prodavaoc kaze muji:
- mujo koliko ti moram puta reci da nije kisela vec mineralana voda,
a mujo kaze:
- dobro daj mi tu mineralnu vodi,i jednu teglu mineralnih krastavaca.



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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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