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1.今天提饭回宿舍,开门开灯,闭门上厕所,回宿舍,桌上多了十元钱,霎时惊喜,突然大叫一声,谁他吗的把老子饭买走了??

2.
上个月刚拿的驾照,开过两次车!今天去面试。背景交代完毕。。。。这么歌!
面试的人问我会开车吗? 我答:会,有驾照
! 面试官问驾龄几年? “四十分钟”

3.刚刚一个人吃饭准备点菜,旁边桌那个女的叫了声“这饭没法吃了!”就拍桌子走了,留下男的可怜兮兮对着一桌子菜。我说“哥们不追吗”,他说“操!不追!不嫌弃的话过来一起吃吧!”于是我们吃了起来。他从诉苦到后来有说有笑,吃了一大半,他女友心软回来找他,看着我愣了几秒然后怒吼,“原来是他!”

4.闺蜜的老公是个老外,一次我们聊起当初为什么他会追闺蜜时,他说,第一次脸面闻到闺蜜的香水味儿很特别,就被吸引了。闺蜜大惊,她从来不用香水的,是不是记错了,闺蜜老公一再保证确实闻到了,后经回忆与证实确认,那不是香水,时闺蜜肩膀不舒服贴了风湿药贴…………真是奇葩的香水啊

5.今天同事未婚漂亮妹子说,有天她遇到了一个小女孩儿,也就上小学吧,问她:阿姨,你知道三路车站在哪吗?同事妹子一听不干了,拉住小女孩说,叫姐姐,不许叫阿姨,否则我不告诉你!结果那女孩道了句:不告我拉倒,你这老女人!

6.公司不管饭,同事每天带饭来吃。今天,同事拎一大袋子,高喊:地球人已经阻止不了我了!袋子一打来,是一锅火锅,火锅,火锅……

7.LZ小时候,买了一块口香糖,吃了一会不甜了,就问爷爷为什么不甜了!GC来了。。。只见爷爷拿出一罐糖和一个碗,舀了两勺糖到碗里,然后让我把口香糖吐进去,一搅一拌又给我了,还说:这下就甜了,下次不甜了就自己弄。。。

8.老公身体不适,要去住院,割吧!反正不想要了,期间各种发说,发微博,说是医院的护士姐姐怎么怎么好看,还把输液时的照片给发空间上了,三天了,还在发,姐实在看不下去了,就评论了他一条:大哥,割个包皮而已,何必弄得人尽皆知呢?尼玛,他现在不是看着我的,是用瞪的……瞪的……

9.高中时,我们坐的是长板凳(两个人坐在一张板凳那种),屁意来袭,就小心翼翼放了。不响也不臭,同桌问我:“你放屁了”,“你咋知道”,“我觉得凳子震了一下”……

10.小外甥养了一只金毛,学习紧张也不管,我经常带金毛散步。一天,终于忍不住了,对他妈妈说:舅舅整天遛咱家的狗,连根火腿肠也不舍得给它买!

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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