Article
昨晚直到深夜才从酒吧回家。老婆怒吼：“你他妈是上哪儿去了！”
我老实回答：“和几个哥们儿玩扑克去了。”
“和几个哥们儿玩扑克去了？！”她怒道，“你倒是可以收拾东西给我滚出去了！”
“你也可以这么做了……”我答道，“这儿已经不是咱们的房子了。”
——mg1 发布于 赌博 栏目
满满一杯健力士啤酒，不仅香醇爽口……
同时也提供了10%我人体每天所需的健力士……
——Dogbite66
过去我可是个每晚能喝上15杯啤酒的人，直到医生告诉我，为了健康必须减半。
于是现在我每晚都只喝14杯半。
——warlock_151
据说一群朋友里每5个人里就有一个是睡眠有困难的。
花了一整晚，不过我总算是把范围缩小到Alan和Steve了！
——commandochris
考虑到最近我们已经有一名足球运动员、一名马拉松参赛者和一名奥运会游泳运动员发了心脏病……
……果然还是做个死胖子才更安全一点吗。
——Cant Wank at Work
带新来的妹子逛办公室，看到一印度同事，我当场就叫他：“嘿，好呀破布头！”（指印度人的包头布）
妹子震惊地说：“你怎么能这么叫他呢！”
“啊哈哈没事啦，”我说，“他外号就是这个嘛。”
“啊，原来这样啊。”妹子微笑。
“恩，还是我们给他起的呢！”
——sore gash 发布于 种族歧视-印度人 栏目
妻子打电话给我。“快、快回家来！”她惊恐地喊道，“有个年轻小姑娘不知怎么闯进我们家、还把自己绑在地窖里了！”
你们看，我娶金发妞当老婆的原因就在于此了。
——jack the gripper
我的几个孩子都爱推卸责任，总把他们自己的错推到别人身上。
这肯定是跟他们妈学的！
——SasaG
和妻子去超市，一转弯，正看见一群穿的简直衣不蔽体的年轻姑娘们从对面的音像制品店里涌出来。
“哗！”我指着一个20来岁的漂亮女孩对妻子说，“我打赌你一定做梦都想要双她那样的腿吧！”
妻子没做声，但显然不怎么高兴。
我推着她的轮椅进超市时，似乎听到了她的抽泣声。
——Cecilthewonderdog
昨晚在餐厅里放了个响屁，旁边那桌的男士皱着眉头对我说：“太恶心了！你再这样的话，我可和餐厅经理说了！”
可想而知，就为这句话，我就又放了个响屁。
那人还真的跑去找经理投诉了。
妈的，害我被炒了……
——mg1
祖父对我说，他还记得当年的这个国家，没有任何种族歧视存在。
当然，他还说，当年这儿也没任何黑鬼和巴基佬儿们在。
——Dr. Flexi Jerkoff
我从门口开始撒下一串玫瑰花瓣，沿着楼梯一直通向卧室、在床上撒满更多的花瓣，然后，我坐在床角、身上只披着一件她的漂亮丝质睡袍，在床头柜上放上一杯上好的葡萄酒，我听见大门开启、她一步步踏上楼梯的脚步声，我希望这能够成为最浪漫的一个夜晚，心中不免有些紧张……
接下来，只需要好好地介绍一下自己是谁就行了呢……
——Dogbite66
重口的要看就自己反白下面咯~~~
------------------------------------------------
女友甩了我，这让我受到很重的打击，为此我烧掉了一切能让我想起她的东西：
照片啦、情书啦、她的双胞胎妹妹啦……
——pedroflaps
和姑娘们〇〇××之前，我通常都会用暗示的方法来让她们不要有过高的期待——
打开冰箱，然后大呼小叫地夸里面的鸡尾肠有多粗大多坚挺。
——gazzytee
我和女友十分担心的是我们的家长不会认可我们的恋情。
尤其是咱爸。
——Unassigned 发布于 乱伦 栏目
人们都说“吃什么变什么。” （“You are what you eat”，一句用于宣传健康饮食的口号，其实意思更接近“怎么吃，就怎么活”）
所以我从来都不认为自己是个食人者。
我分明只是个天真无邪的小孩子呀。
——butterstickswift
我对女儿说：“床底下有个很可怕的大怪物哦！今晚和爸爸一起睡吧。”
“滚球！我都19岁了！”
——mg1
//看看我！看看我！我裤裆里的怪物，已经变得这么大了哦！
真是超尴尬的，我妈开始和我的朋友讨论性事……
不过至少她每分钟能拿到3.5英镑，恩。
——Susan Boyles bodyguard
//色情电话热线
我为了失去处子之身想尽了办法，最后还是觉得听从一哥们儿的建议，用西瓜来〇〇××。
结果现在没法从菊花里拿出来了妈的……
——The_Anticameron
Previous article:
1.13 (12 years ago)
Next article:
1.15 (12 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
