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1.“你知道人民币上画的那个人是谁吗?”

  “不知道。”

  “那是我的大媒人,和女朋友谈恋爱全靠他了。”
2.那天同学(女)在宿舍收拾衣柜,只听她突然很欣喜地自言自语道“咦?有条内裤!赶紧穿上。”
3.突然发现,像我们这种上有长辈,下有小辈,单身未婚的大孩子过年回家,就是要上得了厅堂,下得了厨房,走得了亲戚,见得了同学,经得起表扬,受得了压力,查得了作业,修得了玩具,收得了房间,整得好电器……尼玛我感觉我就是个万能版的变形金刚………
4.这是一件华丽丽的过年惊喜。。。哥哥不要潜规则。。。带着耳机打电话手机被偷,跟着贼哭结果被甩掉,坐在被偷手机的站台哭了半个小时后,那货竟然回来了,把手机还了回来,你以为这是g潮么。。。。那货竟然很正经来了句;小妹妹,叔叔是便衣警察帮你把手机给找回来了。。。尼玛啊。。你是要给我新年礼物么。。。明明你就是那个贼啊。。
5.话说我一同学名叫吕品品。在她小学时一次老师让她们写自己的名字在张空白纸上。小时候写字都特别认真。她一笔一划写的时候老师在那边喊。同学不要在纸上画格子。
6.昨天我们这下雪了。唔,此为背景。————————哥哥神马的最有爱了——————————昨天晚上看新闻,说到下雪,于是记者采访路人关于下雪的感受神马的,当采访一个小正太的时候,小正太说道:“下雪了我就可以堆雪人了…”果断这不是GC,接下去小正太有满脸欢快地说道:“然后我就可以把鞭炮放进雪人的头里,乓地一声,它的头就飞掉了…”
唔,小正太啊,我觉得本拉登要是泉下有知是该吐血了……
7.外婆说,我一个朋友四岁的孙女养了一个兔子,兔子拉粑粑,小女孩高兴的大叫,奶奶,兔子拉巧克力了,等奶奶发觉不对已经来不及了,小女孩说,奶奶,怎么不甜…不…甜…
8.女儿五岁,放寒假做息时间都乱了,晚上十二点了还不睡,躺床上学她爸说话,一人饰两角:“新年好啊老哥!” “新年好,一会我去你家给你女儿送压岁钱”
我说:“谁还专门来给你送压岁钱啊?”
第二遍修改了剧本,“过年好啊老哥”
“过年好,这是我给你女儿的压岁钱,你给她带回去”
我又说:“人家不见到孩子不会给压岁钱的”
第三遍,一人饰三角,“新年好啊老哥”
“叔叔新年好”
“好,乖孩子,给你压岁钱”
好吧孩子,你赢了
9.我爷爷说,女明星里。只有李宇春最有钱。。。因为她有裤子穿。。
10.很简单:拉拉等于蕾丝,同理可得,杜拉拉等于杜蕾丝.....

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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